fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3133 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3133 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Guild]

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03.

[Harvest Moon: (More) Friends of Mineral Town]

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04.

[Gump, from Legend]

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05.

(Agent Carter)

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06.

[Jeeves and Wooster]

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07.

[Lupin III]

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08.

[Courtney Love & Kurt Cobain]

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09.

(SPN)

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10.

[Kasumi Goto, Mass Effect]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 057 secrets from Secret Submission Post #448.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So there's this guy that I met through work a few years ago and see semi-regularly. I'm not great at telling when someone is flirting with me, but according to my coworkers he always does when he comes in. We've had some interesting conversations, seem to have a lot in common, and he's pretty cute. Every time he's getting ready to leave, he kind of hangs around my desk for a bit before finally leaving, and recently I commented to a coworker that it seemed a bit weird and I wasn't sure what he was doing. She said she thought he was trying to work up the nerve to ask me out, and another coworker (who works the most closely with him and knows him the best out of anyone in the office) said he's really shy and he thought he seemed interested in me too, but was probably afraid to ask me out.

The company he works for is in the middle of a merger so things are kind of up in the air as to where he'll be, and although I'll most likely see him again, there's a chance I might not, and if I do, I don't know when.

I've asked guys out before, but I've always been more certain that they were interested. I would hate to ask him out, have him turn me down, and then still have to see him at work.

Another connection, my mom works with his mom and has met him a few times. I mentioned that my coworkers think he likes me and although she agrees that he's cute and seems like a nice guy she says he's way too shy and she "doesn't think he can handle a strong, independent woman like [me]" which sounded like an insult when she said it and just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.

I haven't seen him in a few weeks but he'll just randomly come into my head at different times. I know that probably sounds crazy but there's just...something that makes me feel drawn to him, or thoughts of him, and I think about how I'll be sad if he ends up at a different job and I never see him again.

Anyway. Last night I had a dream that he sexually assaulted me. I have no idea where that came from and it goes against everything I feel like I know about him. Of course I can't say with 100% certainty that he'd never do such a thing because I don't know him that well, but he seems like such a good guy that I just can't imagine he would.

I know dreams don't necessarily mean anything, or if it does, maybe it's a metaphor for something else. Is there something in my subconscious that's trying to give me warning signals about him? Or is it just totally meaningless and I should ignore it altogether? I don't know. I'm just feeling kind of unsettled by it, and at the same time sad that I might not see him again, and it's all kind of confusing.

What do you guys think?

I would ignore it as best you can. Dwell on it out loud to a therapist if that helps. It's not worth worrying about, and I highly doubt it's precognitive in any way. If you two do start going out, and there are red flags, I think you'll see them ahead of time. You may not be able to tell when someone is flirting with you but I'm willing to bet you can tell when someone is making you uncomfortable. If you're still worried, read up on characteristics of abusive people -- but I wouldn't recommend too much time spent on that because then you might start overanalyzing everything everyone does.

well, if we go with the REALLY standard interpretation for rape and assault fantasies, then you want him to make a move on you without having the responsibility of "wanting it" or asking him yourself.

I know that sounds pretty horrible and victim blame-y at first, you might even be revolted by the fantasy itself, but it's a pretty logical conclusion of sexism.

All the signs you have given us point to him being interested in you.
Shake it off and ask him out already!

[ SECRET POST #3133 ]

Re: Had a disturbing dream about a guy I like, thoughts?

Re: Had a disturbing dream about a guy I like, thoughts?

Re: Had a disturbing dream about a guy I like, thoughts?