[ SECRET POST #3140 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3140 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 082 secrets from Secret Submission Post #449.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. http://i61.tinypic.com/hvcsvn.jpg

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I don't understand how people can love these movies.

Regardless of how you feel about the books, these movies are awful. The acting, the make up, the script. They are painful to watch.

[(Anonymous)]

The cast is good

and... uh... elements of the setting and underlying concepts are cool?

yeah, i don't know, they pretty much suck, but it's not hard to imagine a really fucking good version of them

[(Anonymous)]

MTE

I sincerely believe there's a far better story waiting in Meyers' universe... that isn't 50 Shades, of course.

[(Anonymous)]

So edgy, I can totally see why this is a secret, I bet no one else ever has this opinion. lol

[(Anonymous)]

who cares

[(Anonymous)]

You know, just to single out a small portion of what you say, I think it's funny how little people complain about the hair and makeup. I realize it's dwarfed by the other awful, but seriously, how did such big budget movies do it so so badly? (And ironically I think the hair and makeup is at its best on the first movie when they had less money.)

The wings looked like they were bought at The Party Store, the skin was so obviously chalk white I was surprised no one glowed in the dark, much less make me believe no one noticed the Cullens were frikkin' vampires. And the contact lenses! Every one of the actors said the contact lenses made it hard to work, which is (one reason) why there's so much dead-eyed performance in the movies. Most other film productions would have explored any options to try and make those contacts more wearable, or to figure out a way to cgi the eyes without going way over budget. Hell, in Pirates of the Caribbean they invented sunglass contact lenses to help the actors.

TLDR; Absolutely no one even tried with the hair and makeup of this franchise.

[ninety6tears]

Seriously. I kinda get ending up overdoing the white skin, but the HAIR, jfc.

[(Anonymous)]

The thing that cracks me up is that everybody in these movies has the on the same lip color. Even the guys.

[(Anonymous)]

And then they did a cross-promotion with I think Conair to sell a line of hair dryers and "fancy" brushes. That's the real kicker.

[(Anonymous)]

Indeed. So we should love instead the Hunger Games, a ripoff of Battle Royale starring Chipmunk Lawrence & Fetus Face Hutcherson?
What about the Divergent saga with those three huge d-bags, the corrugated Potato Princes of d*ckishness?

[(Anonymous)]

This comment seems bizarrely defensive, considering that the secret doesn't mention any other YA works whatsoever. You do understand it's possible to dislike Twilight without being a champion for any of those fandoms, right?

Perhaps decaf.

[a_potato]

Hunger Games is less Battle Royale and more Futuristic Rome with Teenage Gladiators.

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, Stephanie Meyer!

[(Anonymous)]

Have you ever heard of So Bad Its...hilarious

because I don't want to say good

[(Anonymous)]

I know, right? The awfulness of the hair and make up kind of gets lost in the awfulness of the acting and script, but they really looked amateurish.

[ketita]

I still haven't watched these (or read the books). The books are boring, but one of these days I'll find the right friends and we'll get some booze and I'm hoping it'll be hilarious.

[(Anonymous)]

The scenery is pretty awesome.

[(Anonymous)]

I've tried to watch the first one 3 or 4 times and it's just so straight up BIZARRE that I can never get through it. It's not even that it's bad (I like lots of 'bad' movies), but it's just so awkward and weird in every way, like a parody.

[(Anonymous)]

I've said so before, but watch it with the Rifftrax. It makes them infinitely better. You won't be sorry.

[(Anonymous)]

Only saw the first movie, but the soundtrack was excellent.

[(Anonymous)]

Seriously, the films aren't even entertaining in a "so bad it's good" way, they're just overwhelmingly boring.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't understand how people can love either the books or the movies.

...for anything but the unintentional comedy.

[(Anonymous)]

Welp, I'll be the voice of dissent here and say that I - a woman in my late twenties who mainly reads "smart" "literary" fiction - really enjoy the first Twilight movie. Like, I watch it a couple of times a year, every year. A lot of that is down to Catherine Hardwicke's directing. She's always really done it for me as a director. There's something very sensory and engrossing in her cinematography that makes me feel very drawn into the story. I often find the opening sequence (the cactus, the trip to forks, the soundtrack) flickering through my head at odd times. And the scene where Bella sees her friends horsing around as she drives out of town near the end. And the montage set to "Let Me Sign." I just find Hardwicke's directing very vivid and captivating.

I also really enjoy the whole "new girl at school" trope. I think it taps into something that many unhappy, insecure teens fantasized about - that 'blank slate' dynamic of appearing in a new school and suddenly being different, mysterious, more interesting than you ever thought you were before. As an adult I don't fantasize about that kind of thing anymore, but I still resonate strongly with the trope.

And what can I say? Obsessively passionate vampire love stories are delicious like candy. I don't think Twilight was anywhere near the best teen vampire love story that could have been told - but the simple fact that it is a teen vampire love story makes it inevitably enjoyable to me, because those are fictional elements I find appealing.

OTOH, I could have seriously done without the whole tree-climbing scene, and I can barely stand to watch the big, dramatic, "this is the skin of a killer" scene without muting it because there are just so many awful, melodramatic cliches in that scene.

Really though, awful movies are a dime a dozen. I'm not sure why exactly so many people feel the need to attack the Twilight franchise so much more doggedly than most other terrible popular movies, many of which are even worse.

[lentils]

I think the first one is kind of funny, the next two are occasionally funny but mostly just dull, the fourth one is more frequently funny, and the last one is a riot. But god, I'd never say they're GOOD.