fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3148 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Steven Universe]

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03.

[Et Cetera]

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04.

[Gravity Falls]

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05.

[Xenosaga]

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06.

[Anastasia]

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07.

(Amazing Spiderman reboot)

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08.

[999]

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09.

[Adam Hills, comedian]

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10.

[Ar Tonelico]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #450.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Was essentially gaslighted (...lit?) completely by accident by longtime bff, and know I'm overreacting, and she wasn't trying to be cruel, but it was mean and it went on too long, and it wasn't just me that got upset, other people fell for it but I'm probably the only one STILL upset. I know I should grow up and get over it, but I feel like I can't trust her anymore and I don't know how to get over that and move on... uggggh

Sorry that happened. If you want advice, you probably need to be more specific, but if you just need to get it out, just think about it and consider whether you really need to get over it or if it's something you have a right to not want to get over.

If you feel like you can't trust or be friends with someone anymore, that is fine. Don't worry about how other people are dealing with it - focus on yourself. It's your life and of this person is making it suck you're allowed to distance yourself from them. You don't even have to justify it to people.

I don't know the full details of the situation, but a lost trust is super-difficult to get back, and it might never return. And if you're upset, then maybe that means the closure you've gotten just wasn't good enough? :/ I'm sorry you had to go through that.

(while I'm here, my vent is that I read a fanfic that was super-upsetting to me, which I wouldn't have normally touched, but it was part of a contest thing I'm partaking in, and I feel so baaaaaad and my friend warned me not to read it, and I still did, because I thought I'd be a good person, but fuck this, I wanna cry)

Has she apologized sincerely and changed her ways? If the answer is no, then you get over it by doing a slow fade on this person and finding new friends.

gaslighted ... by accident

So do you know the actual definition of gaslighting? It's when people set you up purposely to believe one thing, instead of the truth, and if you find/figure out the truth, they convince everyone around you that you're lying and/or delusional, and everyone believes them. Not something the person who does it, does by accident. Sometimes it takes years for their evil plans to work out for their good (and for their victim's bad). They are patient and evil and sadistic and it's worse when a whole group of people do it to one person.

I'm sorry, but I have to check. Are you using the definition of "gaslighting" that means "someone told me I was wrong about something"? Because that's gotten popular enough that it's made the actual term a red flag for me.

[ SECRET POST #3148 ]

Just... venting.

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