fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3157 ]

[ SECRET POST #3157 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3157 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Real ones of yours, not in fiction.

Terrible. Really, really terrible. I was raised in a very reserved family and still feel embarrassed when I cry and I really can't handle being angry.

Expressing emotions? I'm great at expressing emotions.

Expressing them with proportion and control? Ummm can I get back to you on that?

I've gotten a little better but its still something I need to work on.

Edited 2015-08-27 00:54 (UTC)

I am excellent in expressing my emotions in that if you know me (or even if you don't), you will know what mood I'm in. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, heh.

Very bad. Even fake emotions, I was never able to do any acting in high school cause apparently I don't really emote with my face much. I also can never put my emotions into words, so I just bottle everything up really.

When I want to I'm very good at it. Except anger. I'm terrible at expressing it when I'm angry at something.

I'm also very good at masking my emotions when I don't want people to know what I'm actually feeling though, which is a lot of the time.

I've been told I have a very expressive face and I'm terrible at lying and hiding how I'm feeling. I've gotten good at confronting people when something's bothering me.

A therapist once told me that in a 20+ year career, she had never had as hard a time getting someone to express their emotions as with me. But looking back on it, if she had asked me how that made me feel...

(To be fair, my answer would be "Generally, not great". But I'm also pretty sure that some of my family members would just breeze right past any upper threshold I might set in terms of emotional non-expressiveness.)

Extremely bad.

First, I'm generally quite reserved, and from a very reserved family, so it's something I have no real training or experience or comfort with. Second, it's just really hard to articulate what precisely I am feeling. So even if I am in a situation where I'm comfortable sharing my feelings, it takes an agonizingly long time to dig down to what they actually are.

Good* most of the time until I have to express them toward someone who isn't good at expressing emotions or doesn't feel emotion very intensely.

Then I break down because I don't feel a good connection and I know they're likely not invested in whatever emotion I have an as a result will either belittle me for it or act dismissive of it.

It really sucks.

*exceptional when it comes to social intelligence regarding what emotion is required for a particular situation and when it is acceptable to express an emotion, but not as good at being genuine about what I'm feeling. I'm working on that.

Edited 2015-08-27 03:30 (UTC)

With respect - not being good at expressing emotion is quite different from not feeling emotion very intensely. And I don't think it follows that because someone is not good at expressing emotions, they're going to belittle you for it or act dismissive about it.

I'm sorry if that's been your experience, though. That's a really shitty way to be and it sucks when anyone does it.

Of course, which is why I was careful to specify which sort of people I tend to have problems with.

People who don't experience emotions intensely tend to view emotional displays as unnecessary, dramatic, or even fake. ...Which is understandable since - to use a sensory analogy - if you had never in your life been able to experience anything but the strongest smells, you might not believe someone else if they were claiming something smelled faintly like flowers. It's just not a perception you would be familiar with.

These are the kinds of people I have trouble dealing with on an emotional level in everyday life, and intimately. If I have emotions I would rather they be validated than have to contextualize them every time.

And yes, the irony of a dude complaining about gaslighting is not lost on me. It just goes to show it's a real thing that really happens, I guess.

that's a very fair position, I guess I was sort of replying specifically to isn't good at expressing emotions or doesn't feel emotion very intensely.

(No one's done this one yet?)

I'm fine.

*golf clap*

Too good. I have the worst poker face of anyone I know.

I've learned to roll with it.

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[ SECRET POST #3157 ]

How good are you at expressing emotions?

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