[ SECRET POST #3164 ]

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⌈ Secret Post #3164 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #452.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

Pros: I have several family members out West who love and support me. I can finish college and get a job anywhere in the US. The climate/weather does wonders for my health and mood. Staying where I am fills me with fear and dread and apathy. I'd be much closer to my aging grandmother.

Cons: I start my senior year of college tomorrow, and we've already paid them some non-refundable money. I'm getting low on petty cash, but have enough for a one-way ticket. I'd have to leave in secret in the early hours so my family doesn't find out I left until it's too late. My California family doesn't know I'm planning this.

What should I do?

Re: Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

It's hard to say without knowing more of your situation and what's going on. But I think the best thing is to gut it out and just finish college as quickly as possible. And then move out to Cali after that.

Again, though, I odn't know the specifics.

Re: Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

Actually look into your options for transferring credit hours before moving, also definitely tell your California family cause just showing up at someone's house like "hello I live here now" will breed resentment fast.

Re: Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

Would your family in California feel obligated to tell your family that you're running from about it? What happens if you tell your CA relatives and wait for a reply before leaving? What happens if you go to your college admin and ask to withdraw? Are you under 18/would they be required to tell your family?

Personally, I'd have more of a plan than "flee in the middle of the night," but then, I don't know what situation you're running from. Whatever you choose to do, good luck and stay safe.

Re: Running away to California

[belladonna_took]

You should maybe not show up out of the blue at your California-based family's place. If you are low on cash I'm assuming you expect them to help you out at least until you get settled there, and that's not really an okay thing to spring on anyone with no notice unless you're leaving a dangerous situation.

I think if you're an adult it's not so much "running away" as it is moving. Moving is your choice, and it can be a good one sometimes, but if you're not in a bad situation you need to escape from immediately, I'd hold off until you figure out some basics. Where you're living, what college you'll be applying for, how you'll support yourself financially.

Is there a better reason for leaving without telling anyone than they would try to talk you out of it? Because just an opinion, but that's kind of a shitty thing to do to people who love you, or even like you, or live with you and share financial responsibilities with you.

That said, my best friend has done this at least once every year. So if I sound like a nagging big sister, it's because I'm the first person she calls when she realises she has no money and no place to stay. I love her, but she's a bit impulsive.

Re: Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

You're a good person for not wanting to leave your friend in the lurch, but... she'll keep on doing it without thinking or planning ahead because she knows you (or people like you) are her fallback plan. Sooner or later, she's going to have to grow up and learn how to handle her own life responsibly because one day you can't or won't be there and she'll have one hell of a hard fall.

Re: Running away to California

[belladonna_took]

Oh, I know she'll keep doing it. She'll probably never have to be 100% responsible for anything in her life, because she's from one of those weird giant families where everyone gets along and supports each other. She's also very good looking, and never has trouble finding guys to buy her things.

She's never going to be completely in touch with reality. Reality is something that happens to other people. She's from planet Maeve, where everything is Maeve. All Maeve, all the time.

After 20+ years of friendship I am an honorary citizen.

Re: Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

Seconding this advice. It's especially important advice for you, Belladonna, because I suspect (based on some of your previous posts) that your FOO has basically conditioned you to take care of everybody else first and put your own needs last.

Re: Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

Your family out in California may love and support you, but it's not a good idea to spring this on them without advance notice and preferably, a LOT of advance planning. Unless you're in serious danger, I'd consider staying to finish out the year, saving up as much money as you can, and making plans to move out West after graduation.

Re: Running away to California

[(Anonymous)]

Housing in California is crazy expensive. (I have a lot if family there, too, and the ones who rent either pay a lot more or live with considerably less, and usually have to split rent with an SO or roomate to make it work.) So, if you're low on funds, you wilk be dependent on your family once you move out there and I echo what others have said about showing up unannounced, especially because you will be asking for more than love and support.

Are you trying to escape an abusive/dangerous situation, or does where you live just make you unhappy? If the latter, I'd say grin and bear it for one more year if college and then get the hell out of Dodge. Moving now won't necessarily fix everything, i.e. you aren't guaranteed more friends or excitement living in CA.