fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3165 ]

[ SECRET POST #3165 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3165 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Miranda]

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03.

[Dramatical Murder]

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04.

[Mortal Kombat (1995)]

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05.

[Scarecrow and Mrs. King]

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06.

[Berserk]

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07.

[Ace Attorney/Metal Gear Solid]

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08.

[Final Fantasy XII]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 008 secrets from Secret Submission Post #452.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I feel like I am going crazy.

My Sister A (older) has broken up with her BF. Mostly because of drug abuse (he is addicted to pills and even stole them from a co-worker). She still cares about him but can't be with him. Unfortunately, it has been a challenge trying to get him home (about 2k miles away). He has been clingy and argumentative in turns. As I've talked to her, I've noticed some other sketchy shit he has done.

But the biggest thing was that two days ago they got into an argument about her wanting him gone. He threatened to kill himself and described all the ways he would. This freaked Sister A out so bad that she had a really bad panic attack. Because of BF drug abuse, her Xanax is at my house. So, I had to get it to her. When I arrived she was on laying on the floor and telling me she could not breathe.

I got her to take the Xanax and in bed. It took 30 minutes but she calmed down and fell asleep. While she was falling asleep she told me all of what happened. Afterwards, I tore BF a new asshole. I basically told him every little thing I hated about him at once. And I stand by every comment.

Sister A spent the next night at my house. But, I work with BF and Sister B (younger). They had to ride home together and I guess BF gave her some kind of sanitized version of what happened. At least, that is the only thing I can figure because Sister B was all, "You should be nicer to him. And don't compare him to Sister C's abusive ex-husband."

And Sister A has talked to BF and I think she is going to let him stay until October 1st (when his bro-in-law can come up and move him). And my mom who was pissed the first night has been meh since.

AM I GOING CRAZY? Is threatening to kill yourself not a bad thing? Should I not have chewed him out? Everyone is acting fairly normal about what the fuck happened and I just...I feel like I am going mad.

No anon, I think chewing him out was deserved and tbh If possible I'd kick him out of the house. Could be your less worried people are not as concerned because they're hearing the cleaner version and not witnessing what it's doing to sister A and...sister A is smack in the middle so I wouldn't expect her to be rational. I imagine she's trying for the least stressful way to get him gone.

Idk your country and ethnicity but if it's an option, next time he throws a tantrum threatening to kill himself - call the cops. Uh, depending on where you are of course. But threatening to kill yourself is never good and should not be used to manipulate someone. Also dude needs help.

You're right, it's messed up. BF is attempting to manipulate your sister into staying and is using emotional blackmail... which is pretty much what I expected he'd do after she gave him a grace period to get out. The more time she gives him, the more trouble he's going to give her in return, because hey look, the suicide threats worked! (In his point of view, they did.)

I would kick him out of the house if at all possible, and if he threatens to commit suicide, call the cops on his dumb ass. Either he means it or he doesn't. If your sister thinks he means it, she should call the cops. If she thinks he's bluffing, then NOBODY should cut him any slack. He's not going to go quietly, she's going to need to exert more willpower if she wants him gone.

There's only so much you can do, unfortunately. Part of the cycle of abuse is to gaslight the victim, i.e. your sister. All you can do is refuse to pretend that this is normal or okay. The BF is a dickbag and a user, and every new stunt he pulls is further proof that your sister is right to leave him.

You're not crazy, it's completely 100% a manipulation tactic and means nothing. Except it gave your sister a panic attack, which it sounds like that's what BF was aiming for.

The one way to defuse this particularly toxic little shenanigan, is just blow it off completely. BF doesn't get what he wants, he'll switch to another tactic. But the threats will stop. Dunno how mentally strong your sister is, though, it takes nerves of steel, the first few times.

I think cause of the heating at work, it's very dry and today my left nostril is cracked on inside and I have a persistent trickle going on. I tried some pawpaw ointment and currently dabbing with a tissue. Help?

Hopefully this will help - http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/nosebleed/Pages/introduction.aspx

Thanks anon! Looks like I should keep on applying the ointment until it ends. It stings a little but it's not gushing. Inconvenient mostly :/

Medicated Chapstick can work wonders for stuff like that. You can apply it with a tissue, too, it'll help seal off the crack and heal faster.

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[ SECRET POST #3165 ]

Advice

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My nose is bleeding

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