[ SECRET POST #3169 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3169 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 053 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Things that have made you feel like a dickhead lately

[(Anonymous)]

I know I'm in the right, but I won't offer to help a friend's sister who has mental health issues. I hate that I won't, but I can't be around her because of the way her problems cause her to behave. Last time I had to be with her for longer than five minutes, I almost cried because of how she was acting.

Like, I know a good person is supposed to sacrifice everything for other people, but my mental health is important, you know?

Re: Things that have made you feel like a dickhead lately

[dreemyweird]

You shouldn't feel like a dickhead for this, anon. You know that, I guess, but, just. You shouldn't. Everything else aside, if this affects your mental state so badly, you WON'T be able to provide any sort of proper help. Your friend's sister may well sense your attitude, too, and it'll only upset and disturb her further.

Re: Things that have made you feel like a dickhead lately

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - Thanks. :) And I know. You're right though. She needs help I do not have the ability to give.

Re: Things that have made you feel like a dickhead lately

[kitelovesyou]

I know a good person is supposed to sacrifice everything for other people

...naaah. Idk, I felt like I was told that growing up as part of the thing that women were supposed to do, and I've seen and felt a lot of expectations that you'll put up with endless amounts of shit and hurt in order to help others or else you're a *bad* person.

Simply, you don't owe this woman anything, except what you personally feel you can give. If you feel you can't, then don't. YOU matter too, and it's always a balance.

Re: Things that have made you feel like a dickhead lately

[(Anonymous)]

Think there's a difference between being willing to sacrifice everything and being able to sacrifice everything. Or having things to sacrifice that are necessary in the first place. Needless sacrifice helps no one.

Re: Things that have made you feel like a dickhead lately

[(Anonymous)]

"Like, I know a good person is supposed to sacrifice everything for other people..."

Nah. I mean, this is one of those weird myths people have about the nobility of self-sacrifice, but it's rarely a good idea. It's good to help others, but you can't help others if there is nothing left of you. Putting limits on how much of yourself you sacrifice is a good and healthy thing.

Re: Things that have made you feel like a dickhead lately

[(Anonymous)]

It is important, and you did exactly the right thing, anon.

My mother still doesn't understand why I dropped a longtime friend several years ago. The reason? Realizing that his mental issues were only magnifying my own. He was a predator, and I didn't realize it until I started getting help. I had to break things off to continue managing my mental illness better.

I'm so much more content now that I don't have an outside voice echoing what the negative voices in my head say. Now I can combat them instead of giving them power.

So yeah, been there, done that, don't want a t-shirt. Stay strong, anon!