[ SECRET POST #3174 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3174 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 084 secrets from Secret Submission Post #454.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Suicide trigger warning

[cenobitic_anchorite]

I want you to know that you're not alone. My mother did much the same thing; made me scared of doctors while at the same time refusing to take a lot of my worries seriously. 'Fester' is a good word, because it means you end up eating all the worries and mistrusts (of others and yourself) and you just end up anxious all the time.

And it makes you tired, questioning what's wrong with you all the time, why are you so fucked up. And that makes you more tired.

My mother imprinted so many oddities on me that when it was *she* who attempted suicide once, without any sort of other trigger, I nearly attempted it about a month later.

Look, just from this, I don't really know for sure. But I feel like - and I can be totally wrong and coming at this from my own bias - reading that you were pushed away from seeking help by someone that SHOULD WANT YOU to get help when you need it makes me worry if some of this is needing to detangle your issues from hers.

I don't think you're being callous. I worry - and again, it's some of my bias here that these things look familiar - that you may have some emotional manipulation happening to you.

You need help. You're not terrible or useless for going to people whose primary purpose is this specific thing. That is a terrible lesson she gave you. You're not crazy. You were taught a crazy idea. That can be broken.

If you need help or want to talk, message me or whatever. I can give my email. YOU WILL NOT BE BOTHERING ME. (emphasis: I thrive on email.) I've been there. Shit, there's help I should probably be getting as we speak, but boy have I been here. *hug*

You are not broken.

It can still be okay.