[ SECRET POST #3182 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3182 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #455.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

One of my best friends since we were 8 moved away to transfer to a better college, and now he has a bunch of new friends, is dying his hair, getting tattoos, and basically only messages me to tell me about whatever cool new thing he's doing or how much he is learning in his fancy new program (and pretty much never messages me individually, just in a group skype chat we have with me and a couple of his old roommates) .

I am insanely jealous and it makes me super depressed to hear from him cause he is doing all these things I wish I could do and I know with his new friends he is moving on from me and going somewhere in his life when I am not, and whenever I think about it I also feel insanely guilty for being jealous or resentful of him moving in the first place, which is why this is a confession.

Re: confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

Unsolicited advice so feel free to disregard but... I've been there, anon. I don't know how much you value this friendship or if it's one you want to keep, but if you do, act now. Channel that jealousy into doing something cool and productive for yourself, because the best antidote to envy is achievement. You don't have to do something huge, just try to find ways to make something out of what you've got, pick up a neat new skill, whatever.

You won't feel nearly as jealous of your friend if you have something to be proud of, and if you're concerned about communication, well, lines of communication go both ways. If you want one-on-one time with your friend, initiate it. If you get the brush off, that sucks, but at least you'll have tried.

Re: confession thread

[herpymcderp]

1. What's stopping you from doing those things? Why sit around being jealous of someone else's life when you could just go out and do the same things on your own time.

2. You have no idea if he's telling you what's really going on or he's just trying to make his situation seem amazing. A lot of the time when people go abroad they'll tell elaborate stories about all the good points of their trip to cover up the fact that they're experiencing culture shock or homesickness. You can't really have any idea if this is the case for him since you're not there to see what he's actually doing with himself.

Re: confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

1. Money. I can't afford to get tattoos or go to a fancy private college (not to mention I am barely passing my university program as it is cause I am not that good at what I do), and considering I lost my last job cause I wasn't able to keep up with it and school, I won't be getting that money any time soon.

2. True, but considering he has a girlfriend there and the last time I managed to get him on a call he was at a party with his friends, its safe to say its at least not all made up. (Also he is not abroad he just moved across the US so there probably is some culture shock it wouldn't be as bad as going abroad.)

Re: confession thread

[herpymcderp]

1. Lame. I hope you can save up for a tattoo and live your dream!

2. On the off chance that he's just being a dickhead, then I'd just say drop him off your radar until he decides to stop being one.

Re: confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

Hair dye's pretty cheap, though. If nothing else, there's always Kool Aid. You don't need tons of money to meet new people, either.

But seriously, there's a saying about how you shouldn't compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else's highlight reel. Yeah, your friend was at a party. It doesn't mean there are no shitty parts of his life, it's just that he's not sharing the details with you... and that's no surprise, right? Few people want to regale their friends with stories about personal failures, especially when they're supposed to be off at a fancy private school having the time of their lives.

This isn't going to sound fun, but put some more time into your studies. If you aren't good at what you do, well, ask yourself under what circumstances that could change. More study time? More reading? Asking professors for help? Changing your major, or at least picking up some classes that might not be relevant to your major but that interest you?

Re: confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

(re: the hairdye I have black hair naturally so dying my hair keeping it from looking shitty is actually more of a process for me but that is not really related to the discussion. Also I have kind of bad social anxiety so meeting new people is kind of difficult for me.)

If he isn't telling me about the bad parts of his life I am kind of unhappy about that too though cause we have been friends since we were children and we used to be those "tell each other everything" friends and frankly not being that anymore is weirdly hard on me.

As for the school things: I'm an art major so it is a question of talent (I started near the top of the program and as of the last ranking I have dropped so far), I'm a senior so its too late to change, and... yeah. I have been putting more time into school but it barely seems to be helping, so I figure its just a flaw in me.

Re: confession thread

[(Anonymous)]

Bad social anxiety can be a big problem. If it's stopping you from doing the things you want-- such as making new friends-- it's time to address it, though. College is full of all different kinds of people, including introverts with social anxiety. I know, because I was one of them. The trick is in finding your people.

The transition between high school life and college life is a huge one. Not gonna lie, friendships get tested by things like distance and the fact that you're both immersed in different environments. Growing apart is natural. If you want to hang onto this friend, then make the effort, but don't let that stop you from meeting new people no matter what.

As for the last, don't give up, man. College can be a long slog and it's normal to feel defeated by the process at times. Keep working at what you're doing and hopefully find work that you love.

Re: confession thread

[ketita]

I'm sorry you don't have the means - but remember, there are lots of exciting adventures you can have without spending a lot of money!
Even if you're struggling in school, don't forget to take a bit of time off every so often, just to keep yourself from going insane.

Re: confession thread

[ketita]

Point 2 is so true.

I lived in Korea for a year, and have the most amazing stories of adventures - but a large chunk of the time I was actually lonely and miserable. Part of the reason I had those adventures was because I forced myself out in an attempt to be less lonely and miserable, haha.