[ SECRET POST #3185 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3185 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 025 secrets from Secret Submission Post #455.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[scrubber]

I feel that there's an obvious difference between people who openly express dislike/disrespect of each other and people who abuse each other. "Hostile" is very subjective and adversarial doesn't mean damaging, abusive does.

Lapis and Jasper are damaging to each other's mental and physical health, AND they fucking hate each other. What's wrong with admitting that they're better off apart? Throwing up the smoke screen of "you'd like it if they were duuuuuuuuuuuuudes~" doesn't change what canon made obvious.

I just wish people would own their fucked-up tastes instead of entering the contest of "But Is It Really Abuse?"

[erinptah]

I don't think everything "damaging" is automatically abusive, either. Whether it's eleven-year-old Ron saying something mean about Hermione that she overhears, or two flying-brick superheroes getting into a punching match, or Pearl being catty towards Greg. If anyone who had ever hurt someone was an abuser, everyone would be.

And I don't see anything in the secret that implies Jasper and Lapis aren't damaging or bad for each other right now! It talks about anticipating character development, not about thinking they're fluffy bffs as-is.

...not that every ship needs to be healthy, of course, and you're right, people who are enjoying the scary current dynamic shouldn't need to hide that.

[scrubber]

I agree that there's a difference between being abusive and exhibiting abusive behavior, but what defines abuse is a pattern of abusive behavior. Sometimes abusive behavior - and therefor abuse - CAN stop, but it'd be really obtuse to pretend all abuse is created equal. (Not saying you are.) My point is, two people can have a relationship that reaches the point of no return and at that time it is far healthier to commit to ending the relationship instead of fixing it. We tell people in real life to cut off their unhealthy relationships, that it is undeniably the right thing to do, but with fiction suddenly everyone gets all optimistic and wishy-washy and starts talking like an abused spouse or something. "I don't know the future, Character could change and get better." "If you really understood Character like I do, you wouldn't hate them for what they do." I don't understand it.

The secret states "I understand why people say it's abusive, but..." which implies that they are going to disagree with that description "abusive." Not only is that not true, but I'm disagreeing with the OP's implied definition of abuse entirely. The rest of the sentence states that Jasper and Lapis have both wronged each other, so "they're pretty much equal in my book." What does that even mean? That two people cannot share responsibility in a abusive relationship?

Amethyst and Pearl are both characters who have shown abusive behavior in the past, and upon realizing their mistakes they (generally, but that's a different discussion I guess) make an effort to apologize. They see what they've done isn't right and try to heal the relationship. I don't think there is any evidence in the show of Jasper and Lapis having that capacity for healing. Jasper/Lapis isn't a couple that is having a rocky time with some hurt feelings, it's a unconsensual bond between two people who viciously hate each other. I think to a lot of people, this is obvious and they react to the pairing accordingly.

I just realize someone basically made this post into a secret.

http://fairymascot.tumblr.com/post/129441877130/jasper-held-lapis-prisoner-without-any-concern

[erinptah]

I thought the "pretty much equal in my book" part was a response to the specific fandom narrative of "Jasper/Lapis is abusive in an unbalanced way in which one is a poor helpless woobie who gets exploited by the other." Not a general denial that mutual abuse can be a thing.

[scrubber]

I would think that too, if it weren't for the "but" earlier in the sentence.