[ SECRET POST #3190 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3190 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Angry Birds (Movie)]


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03.
[The Great British Bake Off (series 6)]


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04.
[Jennifer Nettles, Ronnie Dunn]


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05.
[Free!]


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06.
[Hannibal]


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07.
[Jennifer Lien, who played Kes in Star Trek: Voyager]


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08.
[BBC Robin Hood]


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09.
(Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie/The Mirror Empire by Kameron Hurley)












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #456.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. http://i.imgur.com/5TC9xLA.png?1
[Jennifer Nettles, Ronnie Dunn]

[philstar22]

I've never heard this song, but I"m with you on songs about cheating. I hate anything that glorifies cheating or makes it out to be okay.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I'm not necessarily opposed to songs dealing with the topic of cheating, because, unfortunately, it's a thing that happens, and it's natural it'd be written and sung about like any other topic out there.

But I much prefer it when a song actually acknowledges the pain and hurt and sadness of cheating, instead of tries to paint it as a romantic and positive thing.

On that note, that reminds me of when that song "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder was big some years ago-my dad worked in radio, and he got SO MANY requests for that song, and there were a lot of female listeners going on about how romantic and sweet it was.

Uh...yeah...not so much.

(Even putting aside the subject matter, I never cared for that song in general, personally.)

[a_potato]

Oh goodness, that song. That awful, awful song. All I could think the few times I heard it was, "if you're so into your ex, then go back to her and stop jerking your current SO around!"

[(Anonymous)]

This. THIS!!! I don't get how people can lead someone they claim to love on like that. And all of this 'I can't pick' stuff is bullshit. Dance with the one that brought you. If you care enough about someone else to break your SO's heart, then just break it clean and move on.

It was immediately covered by a country artist, and I was just like, "Whyyyyyyy? Why would you make this unavoidably popular on *all* the stations I listen to?"

[a_potato]

Yup. "I can't pick" is a way to not have to deal with the emotional consequences of actually making a choice. It's selfish and, frankly, cowardly.

[(Anonymous)]

Not to mention it's usually used to manipulate people to stay, once a cheater's caught. If they *know* they're never going to be loved like they want, I think it would be easier to break away. It's that false hope that keeps everything going. Plus it makes the cheater look like they're nobly suffering.

[(Anonymous)]

My thoughts exactly. Isn't there even a line in there where he says something about how he wishes his current girl was his ex? Gee, that's nice.

Your attitude is always mine when it comes to relationships. If I'm with a guy and he falls for someone else, then I want him to just tell me. Then we can talk about it and go our separate ways from there and all that sort of thing.

That's not to say I wouldn't be hurt and sad, obviously-of course I would, especially if I'd been with him for some time and loved him. But I'd much prefer him just being honest with me than sneaking around behind my back.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree. Just get it out, don't drag it on. That's just cruel to everyone.

[a_potato]

I feel similarly, although I'm non-monogamous now, so circumstances are a bit different. But I'd always prefer that someone be honest about his or her feelings, and that if there's someone else they'd rather be with, that they not force themselves to continue being with me. It's not fair to anyone involved, and for those who are in monogamous relationships, it's selfish and hurtful.

[(Anonymous)]

Good point about non-monogamous relationships-indeed, obviously those are a different situation altogether.

Yeah, whatever kind of relationship you have with someone, honesty and communication are always key and necessary. And so true about being forced to keep a relationship going-if I was with a guy, and I found another guy I loved more, what good would it do me to be stuck in a relationship that wasn't making me happy?

[(Anonymous)]

OP here.

I kinda liked "From a Table Away" by Sunny Sweeny because it deals with more of the heartbreak side and doesn't make stopping enabling cheating seem so romantic, or cheating in general. "You Lie" by Reba is another good one portraying the hurt of still loving someone you know is cheating, but at least it's a tragedy.

My favourite cheating song is probably "Forgive" by Rebecca Lynn Howard. I like to think that's how I'd deal, short-term anyway. Knock on wood, that's never happened.

Ugh, I can't stand when people romanticize cheating. I will drop a story if a character cheats with no remorse or fallout. Full stop, that makes me drop it. *Any* cheating makes it very likely I will anyway. And I think portraying true love triumphing over that evil marriage in the end is all around terrible. How can you trust someone who has already proven they lie?

[(Anonymous)]

But... this song DOES acknowledge the pain and hurt and sadness of cheating, and doesn't paint it as romantic. In fact in the end she tells him it's over and to stay with his actual significant other. I don't understand the idea that this song is "glorifying" cheating at all. Have you actually listened to the lyrics?

Unless I'm completely misunderstanding what you're saying and you're saying this IS a song that acknowledges the pain of cheating?

In which case ignore my rant and carry on. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm just gonna say it: Sometimes shit happens. You can't always choose who you fall for. But the ending of the song is what makes it for me. I don't think I've listened to it in years (haven't had a reason to in a very long time) but part of me will always love it because it was there when I needed it.

[(Anonymous)]

Well sure, you can't help falling in love with someone. But when people criticize cheating, it's not the "falling in love" part they're talking about. It's the stuff people do AFTER they decide they're in love with someone who isn't their partner that amounts to emotional or sexual infidelity. You can fall in love with someone and stop short of fucking them, if you choose to do that.

That's why variations on "the heart wants what it wants" sounds like a dishonest cop out when people try to rationalize cheating.

[meredith44]

I'm with the above anon. I don't think Stay glorifies cheating. It's the end of the song that really does it for me. Yes, she "gets what is coming to her", but I think it can be that and heartbreaking and empowering as well. She realizes how toxic the relationship is and manages to pull herself out of it. (Although I prefer Settlin' if you want to talk empowering songs by Sugarland.)

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Enh, I don't worry about others liking it too much. I'm fairly live-and-let-live that way. I don't *get* it, and I don't approve, but my approval shouldn't mean much, really. I'm more angry that *I* suddenly like it now that I've heard Ronnie Dunn sing it.

It was meant to make the listener sympathetic, and it is somewhat empowering, but the glorifying was the fans, not the lyrics. And it doesn't affect me at all like it's supposed to. It never has. But since I don't voice it, my opinions hurt no one. Even in real life, I have no sympathy for cheating, and high school friends involved in 'breaks' and emotional cheating learned quick to go elsewhere for comfort. The fact that it provides a sympathetic viewpoint for those who knowingly enable cheating ticks me off, though.

That's actually why it's a secret. Explaining why I'm so disappointed in myself over Ronnie Dunn's version would mean complaining about the original, and I don't want to be that person telling others what to like.

OP again

[(Anonymous)]

Also, Settlin' is amazing! Fun, empowering, and just *happy*.

I have a huge soft spot for 'Baby Girl', though. That's definitely my favourite Sugarland song. It's what caught my attention when scanning stations, getting me back into country music.