fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3190 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3190 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Angry Birds (Movie)]

__________________________________________________

03.

[The Great British Bake Off (series 6)]

__________________________________________________

04.

[Jennifer Nettles, Ronnie Dunn]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Free!]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Hannibal]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Jennifer Lien, who played Kes in Star Trek: Voyager]

__________________________________________________

08.

[BBC Robin Hood]

__________________________________________________

09.

(Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie/The Mirror Empire by Kameron Hurley)

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #456.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I have a story where two characters start out as boyfriend and girlfriend, and as part of the plot at one point they break up after a horrible fight. How do I make the audience feel something about it? How do I make them care?

Thoughts?

make your characters suffer and have them think about all the good times they had

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpTw6jHoFV8

Don't make it over the top.

People won't be able to relate if it's some grand, galaxy-altering romance.

Make it about the little things.

Have a scene with a character making breakfast and then, out of habit, call out to ask if their partner wants anything only to realize midway through that their partner isn't there

Eating alone

Missing body heat when trying to fall asleep

Seeing something funny on the internet or just in general, thinking about texting or calling their partner to tell them about it only to realize they're not together.

Those little moments of anguish when you feel a hole in your life are so much deeper than having the characters endlessly angst about their epic love. Something that should be there, that you've gotten used to relying on, is gone.

Yessss.

I would add: have little moments like this before the break-up, as well. Throw in some light touches -- a hand on the small of a back, an arm being squeezed, fingers brushing hair off the back of a neck. And treat it all as normal, natural, just another part of who the characters are. If you can get that feeling across, then breaking them up should feel like breaking some part of the characters themselves.

first, make them ship it

then afterwards continue to remind them every so often, in little ways. like tiny knives stabbing them in the heart.

this

Like anon said: "first, make them ship it"

Also, I'd say being in places that remind them of the other person, and having this realization that they are alone and they truly (at least as far as I believe? not sure if you intend to get them back together, but it should seem to them like it will never happen) will never see that person again.

IDK, for me, any breakup with emotion will hit me hard because it hits very close to him. I'm not sure how to write it to someone who either hasn't gone through a bad breakup or who wasn't as badly affected by it as myself.

If readers care about the characters in general, they'll care what happens to them. In addition to that:

1) Make sure it's not a stupid fight about an easily resolved misunderstanding. Make sure it FEELS real, emotionally.

2) Make it a situation where there is no "bad guy". They're not breaking up because someone's an asshole, they're doing it... why? Because they're two people who are each doing what's right for them in their own way, even if it means the end of the relationship, that's why.

3) Don't do it if you're just trying to tug peoples' heartstrings. Readers smell that kind of bullshit from a mile off.

"3) Don't do it if you're just trying to tug peoples' heartstrings. Readers smell that kind of bullshit from a mile off."

Oh no, believe me. I always intended to have the couple break up at some point, as an obstacle/trial in their developing relationship. I just figured that if I was going to do a breakup, I should do it right.

agreeing with others that if your audience is gonna feel the break up, they have to be invested first. I think the same theory works with regard to character deaths: if you make a character funny/entertaining to watch, their death becomes so much more depressing. I think laughing with or at a character triggers something in the brain that attaches you to them more firmly than other emotions. (see: comic sidekicks that die in Disney movies.) you can extend the theory to a couple by having them be the sort of couple that pokes fun, or seems to actually get along with each other. so many "epic romances" are just two lifeless, soulless people pushed together in what the narration calls "chemistry." it's gotta be "show, don't tell," lots of crappy romances tell the reader that there are sparks, that it was destiny, that the world explodes when they see them, and that's fine but if it's not backed up by showing, it's meaningless.

Make their relationship feel real. Not some weird, fakey perfect 'ship where they cuddle and bill and coo and are just soooooooooo in lurve. That's...really not real. And it's boring. Give them a little give and take, some tension, some smaller issues that they tussle over and then figure out.

Give them a real, *solid* relationship that isn't full of cliches and built on boring tropes. Then their breakup will really feel more real, and tug at the heart more.

Good luck!

Well... to be pedantic... it's not that those aren't real, but they're usually (IRL) very early in relationships, and most, that doesn't last (I've been sorta o.O that even after all the serious stuff and emotional processing of both our previous marriages, the fiance-creature and I are still "full of schmoop", as he calls it, or "twitterpated", as I call it). If it's a relatively new relationship, one year tops (seriously don't base anything on the anecdote about me and my fiance-creature, we are Not Normal), then yeah, that can be realistic (the term to look for is NRE -- New Relationship Energy, if you aren't familiar), but you'd need to show it differently than most people do. It can work, it just needs to be handled unlike how 99% of writers do. :P

I think OP is talking about a more established couple, though, in which case, that would be completely out of character. If the fiance-creature and I are still shmoop-bunnies four years from now, I'm going to be doing some serious WTF.

[ SECRET POST #3190 ]

How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

AYRT

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something

Re: How to make a breakup in a work MEAN something