fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3198 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3198 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Watching Dead/Fear The Walking Dead/The Walking Dead]

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04.

[Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni]

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[Animal Crossing]

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07.

[New Tricks]

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09.

[Movie: The D-Train]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #457.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What phrases in smut can you not take seriously? What terms and phrases sound ridiculous to you?

I just can't do written smut because the language is inherently embarrassing to me. It's gotta be visual.

I'm mostly the same. I don't want to read about cocks and vaginas and assholes, but a sex scene that plays light with the physical details and heavy on the emotion behind it is my written-smut jam.

I am the opposite. I love the language of written smut, the more explicit the better. But visual porn does nothing for me at all.

Honestly, as long as somebody isn't making dialogue out of moans, I'm pretty much okay. But as soon as the "OOOHH, AAAH!! YEAH BABY!!! OOOHHHHHH!!!"s start, I'm out.

Same tbh. Really you could generalize it and say any crappy arousal dialogue

Calling names during text esp with all the extra vowels or whatever

TOMMYYYYYYYYYYY
JENNIFEEEERRRRRRRRRRR

I can't not laugh

during sex in text*

#1 hate: "their tongues battled for dominance" OR "their tongues met in a dance" (or any variation thereof)

#2 hate: "Bed. Now."

#3 hate: any use of the word "ghost" as a verb. Ex: "His breath ghosted over her skin."

#4 hate: when authors smush 3+ words together to illustrate desperation (bonus hate if any words are italicized). Ex: "All she could see in his eyes was heatlustneed."

I haven't even read that much fic, and not at all for a year or more and those phrases seem as well-worn and familiar as muck. LOL

Re: Inspired by yesterday's #1

skeletal_history - 2015-10-06 23:56 (UTC) - Expand

OH GOD "BED. NOW." I HATE IT SO MUCH I FORGOT IT WAS A THING.

skeletal_history - 2015-10-07 00:06 (UTC) - Expand

I really hope that there are not people out there doing #4, but I don't read much fic.

dreemyweird - 2015-10-06 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

All I see now are tongues fighting with swords and shields (on a hilltop with a lightning storm as a backdrop) and alternatively ballroom dancing.

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 17:28 (UTC) - Expand

"#2 hate: "Bed. Now." "

To be honest I'd probably like that in a dom/sub sort of relationship..but ...other than that I dunno.

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-06 23:52 (UTC) - Expand

skeletal_history - 2015-10-07 00:02 (UTC) - Expand

Oh man I forgot about #1. That is the worst.

Wow, those are some old-ass fic language memes. I forgot they even existed.

Oh gosh, the #1 always makes me cackle. Like the first thing my mind thinks of is of tongues with little swords and shields fighting.

Not in smut, but because of smut I can't take the phrase "hobbit hole" seriously. I guess it has probably been used in smut.

mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com - 2015-10-07 09:29 (UTC) - Expand

If there are too many vocalizations written out as dialogue. "oh, oh, " or "oh, fuck, yeah" all over the place. Once or twice sure, but after that just say he/she moaned or swore or whatever. Unless there's actually conversation or dirty talk or something.

"Needy hole", "gaping hole", "puckered hole", "quivering hole", etc.

skeletal_history - 2015-10-07 00:03 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

I can't take seriously smut that uses the word "boobs." That isn't sexy at all and just makes me laugh.

Any references to meat.

And while it is hard to avoid, I personally hate the word pussy.

mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com - 2015-10-07 09:30 (UTC) - Expand

"thick ropes of cum"

I mentally giggle every time at that one.

herpymcderp - 2015-10-07 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 03:18 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 22:55 (UTC) - Expand

I hate when people use the actual terms for genitalia, i.e. penis, vagina, and clitoris (although "clit" is okay). They sound too clinical and take me right out of the story, unless it seems IC for the POV character to use them. At the same time, I hate flowery euphemisms.

I also can't take it seriously when bodily fluids are referred to as "juices," when "come" is spelled "cum," and when semen is dressed up in purple prose.

Edited 2015-10-06 23:56 (UTC)

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 00:33 (UTC) - Expand

a_potato - 2015-10-07 00:44 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-07 22:54 (UTC) - Expand

I can't take it when the yelling is written out:

"Ah!" she cried, arching her back, "Oh my GOD! My GOOOOOOD! AHHHHHH IT FEELS SO GOOD MORE MORE MORE!"

I just cry with laughter and can't go on reading.

Any time there is some biting/nibbling involved and people break skin with their human teeth so very easily. It's not that easy to break skin, especially around the shoulder/neck area- skin is pretty thick there.

And I read a fic recently where the author was apparently a fan of this "you must ask for consent with every little thing you do" and it was so incredibly unsexy and annoying to read.