[ SECRET POST #3201 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3201 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Scream TV series]


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02.
[Erasure/Andy Bell]


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03.


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04.
[AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire]


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05. [SPOILERS for Man from UNCLE]



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06. [WARNING for rape, war]



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07. [WARNING for rape]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #457.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

"Well, you tried your best!" after a failure.

That seems like the worst thing to say to someone. I'd rather believe that I have some kind of potential in me to be successful, rather than my all was just terrible. And even if I tried really, really, hard, it wasn't necessarily my best...

Re: Sayings you hate

[dreemyweird]

I'd say it depends on the kind of failure we're talking about here. And on the kind of person.

Sometimes it's more comforting to think that your best wasn't enough than that you didn't try hard enough. The first option makes you feel like you weren't GIVEN the necessary skills/talents/opportunities; the second makes you feel like a bad and worthless person.

(I mean, I'm not saying ANY of this is true, but that's the psychological mechanism in some cases).

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

DA


also depends on what was failed at, like if it's something artistic where it's mostly up to the judge's personal taste saying you tried your best - and created something good regardless of whether it was subjectively liked - wouldn't be bad

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

It means your best right now resulted in failure. It doesn't mean that you have no potential to do better, because "your best" isn't cast in stone; "your best" after practicing for a week or a month, or after getting rid of your sinus infection, or when your general life situation is less stressful, could be much better.

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

No... it means exactly what it says - "your best" period. And that's why it's a shitty saying. And in almost any situation, anyone probably could've done just a little bit more, it's stupid to assume someone exhausted their potential.

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

Well, you did your best to make a reasonable argument.

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

Unfortunately, you did not even reach your potential in expression analysis.

Re: Sayings you hate

[kitelovesyou]

It doesn't mean someone exhausted their potential, not necessarily. It's meant to point out that there are reasons why someone didn't give their hypothetical "best in a perfect situation" best. You tried your best, considering. You'll improve, you'll feel better, you'll be luckier, you'll feel more inspired, you'll be better rested, you'll be calmer. Don't beat yourself up, you gave what you *could* right now, it wasn't for lack of will or because you were just stupid about not applying yourself. It's actually saying the opposite a lot of the time. I think you're taking it in a way too coldly literal a way.

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure when people say most sayings, they intend them to have fuzzy implications, but that doesn't change the real meaning here. Rather than use terms like "best" which inherently discuss potential (and no, there is no dismissing that it doesn't), it's better to compliment one's effort. "You tried really hard" is something that is far more quantifiable. Hard work means something no matter the result.

Re: Sayings you hate

[kitelovesyou]

*shrug* I think best when people say this generally means "best you could at the time considering", not some Platonic ideal of "best". Besides, it's just something to make people feel better to stop them beating themselves up and telling themselves they suck and were just lazy and bad, especially perfectionist types, along with the "you tried really hard". I get that it won't work for all personalities, like a lot of sayings really.

ETA: I guess I mean that if someone says this to someone who didn't do as well as they wanted, that's what they might be thinking, not "you're only THIS good".

Also, thinking about it, "you tried your best" in an academic context is less likely to come off as consoling, as opposed to something messier like interpersonal conflict resolution.

Re: Sayings you hate

[(Anonymous)]

And not everyone thinks in black and white, or absolutes.

My best five years ago included being unable to walk.

My best now means I can walk two city blocks.

Someone's personal best is an everchanging thing.