[ SECRET POST #3202 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3202 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 072 secrets from Secret Submission Post #458.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Problems of an anon who tends to be very transparent with people...

[(Anonymous)]

How do I not feel anxious about keeping a secret? My friends trust me, and I wouldn't let them down, but sometimes I just feel so guilty when I'm talking to someone who a friend told me not to tell something to, even if I know it's for a good reason (and it always is). I have a therapist, and I try to make no secret of the fact that anything anyone tells me might be repeated to her, but other than confiding in her, what else can I do? How can I reassure my mind when it starts worrying that I'm doing something treacherous by not telling everything to everybody?

Re: Problems of an anon who tends to be very transparent with people...

[(Anonymous)]

You're not supposed to tell everything to everybody.

OK, like, on here. Nobody in this comm knows my real name. And that's OK. My friends have secrets, I have secrets, my exes have secrets. In one case, I am one of my ex's secrets.

You just let things go unsaid. It can be hard, but you can do it.

Re: Problems of an anon who tends to be very transparent with people...

[(Anonymous)]

You could remind yourself that sayings like "honesty is the best policy" are pretty general and don't leave room for nuance... and that real life is full of nuance. You can't possibly tell everyone everything all the time. Why would you? It'd take too long and bore the tits off people. Privacy is about deciding what you share, and with whom, and under what circumstances.

For example, you might undress in the privacy of your room, or in front of a close friend, but you probably wouldn't yank a stranger into your dressing room or strip off in the middle of Target just for the sake of transparency, would you? It's the same way with information. It's not treacherous. People have the right to decide how much of their private information to share, and if you've agreed to keep something secret for a friend*, then you're helping them exercise that right.


* Assuming this is not a harmful secret or an illegal one and that keeping silent would have negative repercussions.

Re: Problems of an anon who tends to be very transparent with people...

[(Anonymous)]

Telling everything to everybody isn't honesty, it's verbal incontinence. You must be exaggerating because who can live like that? Surely there must be things you keep from certain people. Try to treat the secret like your PIN: if someone else finds out, it'll be harmful.

Re: Problems of an anon who tends to be very transparent with people...

[(Anonymous)]

You need to learn boundaries and impulse control. I struggle the same things (it's part of my ADHD). It's simply neither socially appropriate nor in your best interest to say everything you think or feel to anyone and everyone.