[ SECRET POST #3204 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3204 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #458.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What else are you doing right now?

[a_potato]

He's BIG. He's the length and weight of a 3-month-old already.

He's also hungry all. The goddamn. Time.

Re: What else are you doing right now?

[herpymcderp]

The prophecy is on us.

He is the tatertot who will fry the world.

Re: What else are you doing right now?

[a_potato]

He will crawl at four months. Walk at six. Talk at eight. For a tooth gift, he will receive a box of kitchen matches.

By one year of age, he will begin to master fire. At 18 months, he will receive his first skillet, and by two, he will be successfully frying the lesser beings.

Others of my kind will be coming to him by age four, asking that he lead them through the sacred ritual. Skins will be shed, flesh will be buttered. Potatoes will be baked and mashed and boiled and, yes, fried by the dozen.

At five, he will move beyond potatoes. Other vegetables shall prostrate themselves before him, begging to undergo culinary transformation at his hand. Fish and poultry will follow, and then, the larger animals.

By six, the open flame shall bow before him. And the world, unknowing, shall be his.

Re: What else are you doing right now?

[herpymcderp]

lol God damn it, I love this. Your baby daddy is a lucky man.