Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2015-10-26 07:00 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2015-10-26 07:00 pm
[ SECRET POST #3218 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3218 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 053 secrets from Secret Submission Post #460.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Steven Universe+Tumblr meltdown(TW)
(Anonymous) 2015-10-27 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)Tumblr culture (Not All Tumblrs yadda yadda yeah I know, but y'all know exactly what I mean) encourages embracing as many underprivileged identities as you can. Now, neurodivergence and mental illnesses are genuinely a lot more common than the mainstream thinks (heck, I'm both neurodivergent and mentally ill). And they can theoretically affect anyone, and can be difficult to prove or disprove. So a lot of people will embrace those, real or imagined.
But to have Tumblr Cred with your mental illness/neurodivergence, you gotta be sure to have symptoms. And the Tumblr culture is big on validating those symptoms - not working with them or around them, or alleviating the harmful ones. Just validating them.
From personal experience, I know that you kinda have to validate your symptoms in order to do anything about them. You have to acknowledge that a symptom that makes your life difficult, is something that exists.
I've had many enlightening "oh wow apparently I experience this completely differently from the grand majority of people, that explains SO MUCH" moments. And then you work with that realization, and it'll make you more self-aware, and if the "symptom" is something that's making something difficult for you to do, and it's something you WANT (or absolutely need) to do, you can figure out how to do it, and/or get the required help.
Like for example, I like to go to a bar sometimes, but the noise level might eventually give me a sensory overload. Knowing that most people don't get that the way I do, is useful because that means I can't just base my own expectations on "oh well everyone else is doing fine so I should logically be fine too". Instead, I'll use earplugs if it's really noisy and I don't have to talk to anyone at the moment. I'll take some breaks once in a while, away from the cacophony. And I'll leave home BEFORE it starts getting bad, and will end the night having actually enjoyed it.
BUT a lot of the culture on Tumblr stops at validating your symptoms. There is a lot of peer pressure to prove that you're "not neurotypical", so people embrace their symptoms, and dramatic displays of things going wrong are a good way to prove your suffering. There is this trend of "we wouldn't have to adapt to the world of neurotypicals/able-bodied people etc., we should be allowed to be ourselves". And in theory, this should be like... public spaces taking into account that some people are neurodivergent or disabled or whatever. Wheelchair ramps and elevators. Teachers understanding that it's impossible for the autistic or ADHD kid to follow the teaching if there's randomly music playing in the classroom, or other cacophony. Available mental health services.
BUT instead, Tumblr culture and peer pressure drives people to embrace their symptoms. It seems to be like... "Could I have a bad symptom because of this? I probably could, or at least someone else could. I'll make sure to do that then."
Self-suggestion is a surprisingly powerful thing. For example, if you happen to feel sorta iffy about seeing bare feet, but then you start convincing yourself that images of bare feet could give you genuine panic attacks, and you have an echo chamber of people validating that yes, it's possible to have panic attacks because of feet, and there's even some peer pressure to do it so you'll belong into the group... you can probably manipulate yourself into having a panic attack because of feet. And after that, the downward spiral can feed on itself. That way, people can eventually condition themselves into having worse and worse reactions to increasingly insignificant issues, instead of learning to avoid or alleviate the initial ones.
And I'm not saying recovery is easy, or that the initial validation is unimportant. For example, I still end up in sensory overload situations sometimes, and the actual neurodevergence that's causing it ain't going anywhere, ever. But I don't think stopping to specifically wallow in your harmful symptoms after you've recognised and validated their existence is a very good long-term solution.
Re: Steven Universe+Tumblr meltdown(TW)
(Anonymous) 2015-10-27 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Steven Universe+Tumblr meltdown(TW)
YES. Well said.
From personal experience with this, and with living with/putting up with others also with illnesses/disabilities, I had to learn not to wallow in my suffering and symptoms. "Listen to me, validate me" can become not only a self-pity spiral almost revelling in each symptom, but an excuse to become a selfish, even abusive, git. Especially fun when it becomes a competition with others as to who has the most tough.
Taking some ｒｅｓｐｏｎｓｉｂｉｌｉｔｙ for yourself and your effect on others (where you CAN) is my byword.
The reason I'm fascinated by but also not going anywhere near most of sj-ish parts of tumblr is that over-familiarity - it's not unique to tumblr by any means.
Re: Steven Universe+Tumblr meltdown(TW)
(Anonymous) 2015-10-27 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)