fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3227 ]

[ SECRET POST #3227 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3227 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica, Major Crimes]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Deadly Premonition]

__________________________________________________

04.

[The Walking Dead, Glenn Rhee]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Bill Skarsgård]

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08. http://i.imgur.com/LAq54d4.jpg
[link for random penis]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #461.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ayrt

Oh, it would upset him. He's dealt with a lot of death, including suicide, all his life. But he would go on, he always has. I don't know what to do. I cannot work because I am all sorts of not hireable (and lucky for me, not eligible for any government aid), and his retirement isn't going to support us both.

Sometimes I dream of disappearing first, so he won't have to know, but I think that would be harder on him.

Death of child is, from what I hear, unlike any other loss. It would more than "upset" him.

Just because he'd be better off financially, doesn't mean he'd be better off as a human being.

He's already lost a child, his parents, a sibling, and his wife. He's really rock solid. I mean, I know he'd be lonely, but... dunno. he'd carry on like always, you know? It just seems like something that would be better than me mooching him into the poor house.

It's funny, I hate my life right now, based on the fact that I hate my life so much I don't know what to do anymore.

The problem with the way you write this in combination with you saying you're not really employable makes my think you have at least some mental and/or physical health issues, right?

There are some mental issues, mainly depression but other too, that b definition cloud our own judgement.

Even if what you say is true and your dad would go on after you're gone...I'm pretty sure that's not what he'd WANT.

But if we're thinking practical solutions of the problem - are there perhaps little was you could contribute to the household?

Obviously I do not know our exact situation, but I'm thinking out-of-the box stuff that doesn't require you to be in an office or whatever...example, selling/reselling stuff on e-bay. I have an ex who made some extra cash by fixing and reselling servers. It's just a example.

Another option is to explore if your condition(s) would be eligible for benefits in another state or another country. If you're desperate anyway, might as well try.

In any case, good luck. And don't kill yourself. I really AM quite sure that isn't what your dad would want.

you have at least some mental and/or physical health issues

A whole host of mental issues as well as physical limitations. Most of the time I can't, literally and figuratively.

I've tried a few times to get an online crafting/Etsy business up and going, but I don't know if I can crank out things good enough or fast enough to keep that going. Or, you know, start at all. I have in the past had a tendency to start making things for friends and family, and just never finish them. So I don't know if the promise of money for stuff would actually get me crafting or not.

I don't know how to even approach a potential move. Or research out of state benefits. And he's not gonna move. And I'd probably not do well on my own.

Look I am no psychologist, but I've been dancing with the demons in my head for a long time now. With varied success, but I walked out on some dates with 'ole Death.

If you feel stuck, sometimes it helps to rattle around stuff, kick in a few doors and try another path.

And yeah, depression makes that harder - trust me I know. And it's no magic cure, but sometimes it can make you see that light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's far, but that's the fighting chance you need.
Sometimes a slightly different perspective makes the difference - and my general opinion is that if you're already considering something drastic, well you might try that as well first, right? What do you have to lose?

Another thing I have is maybe look into charities and if any of those can do something for you? If money's an issue, and assuming you're American, I realize therapy might be too expensive, but many places will have volunteers that will lend you an ear and sometimes just talking can be such a relief, too.

The might also be charities or even freecycle groups to get things like free food or goods (but sorry, I only know that locally).

What I'm saying is: it's not impossible for you to get help. It's not impossible for you to find something you feel good about. It's not impossible for you to make some money within your limitations. And it's not impossible to acquire things for living that will cut down on your living cost.

I know you're probably tired of looking for it, tired in general - but that is the depression talking, essentially.

Or perhaps, having lost all those people, it helps to think that he still has you. I've lost most of my family and when my mom, who has terminal cancer and has been suicidal for much longer than she's had cancer, pulls out the "you'll be better off when I'm dead" thing, I try to tell her that yes, death happens to everyone, and it's sad, and I miss all my family who have died, but their deaths didn't break me. But the one that came closest to doing so was my dad, who might've committed suicide. We were pretty much estranged by the time he died, and he'd done a lot of shitty things, but thinking that he felt so miserable and alone that he chose to die was really, really awful. My benchmark for "will improve the world by their death," whether I know them or not, is, like, "serial rapist murderer child molester who eats a human-baby sandwich with a puppy-ear garnish every day." Otherwise, someone will miss you, and the world will be a shittier place without you in it. Especially for your dad. Please don't try to die.

ayrt

I'm sorry about your mom and your dad.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3227 ]

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)

Re: Trigger warning for suicide (non-explicit)