[ SECRET POST #3233 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3233 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 030 secrets from Secret Submission Post #462.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

when you break up with someone for being manipulative and unreasonable, and they kill themselves because you broke up with them, how do you go on? how do you tell yourself it's not your fault? logic isn't stopping the guilt. yes, i had every right to leave the relationship. yes, me leaving was the spark, not the fuel, and yes, i'm not responsible for their mental health. but it isn't helping.

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

You broke up with them because they were manipulative, and you didn't need that in your life. Their suicide is also manipulation. Don't feel responsible for their actions.

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

Please, please seek help. Find a counselor who specializes in grief. There's nothing we can tell you that will help, because all we can do is tell you what you already know-- that it wasn't your responsibility, and it isn't your fault.

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

coincidentally, i'm seeing my therapist tomorrow. (so glad i started scheduling for wednesdays instead of mondays.) she's really good, she "gets" me and doesn't judge or push me too hard. so at least there's that.

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

Thank goodness. It'll help to talk this out with her, so you can start to unravel your feelings about it. Virtual hugs if you want them, anon. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

It's not your fault. You know that, logically, and you just need to keep reminding yourself of that. Yes, you're going to feel upset about it, because it's a sad thing that happened, but sadness is not guilt, and it is NOT your fault.

You know you're not responsible for anyone's life except your own.

And there's no point in 'what if'. You might just as easily have given up years of your own life in a miserable relationship and still ended up in the same place.

I'm sorry this happened to you, it's got to be terribly difficult. I hope you've got people who can help you deal. I'll be thinking of you.

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[caerbannog]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. This is just an extension of their manipulation. I hope your therapist visit goes well.

I think time and the counsellors will help you forward. Not something you'd recover quickly from so don't beat yourself up about it.

Re: tw: suicide, mention of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

Echoing that you're not responsible for their actions. It's not like you egged them on or anything. They made a choice, and they chose badly. You have a right to protect yourself from abuse and other awful treatment.

Acknowledge it's sad they took their own life, and that you had no control over that. If it wasn't you breaking up with them, it would've been something else, some other reason they would claim is the reason for suicide. Or worse, not only would it be something else, but then you might be blaming yourself for, say, not being "enough" of a reason to prevent the suicide. Grieve if you must, you are entitled to that, but don't dwell on things beyond your control.