fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3234 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3234 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Golden Girls]

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02.

[Boku no Hero Academia]

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03.

[C.S. Lewis vs. J.R.R. Tolkien]

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04.

[Pokémon, Leah Remini]

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05.

[Tales of Zestiria]

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06.

[The Man In The High Castle]

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07.

[Marjorie Liu, Sana Takeda, Monstress]

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08.

[Sleepy Hollow]

Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 2 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How do I get over my frustration at having to live at home at least until February. It is really starting to grate on me, and I have several months to go. After years living on my own, it is just so hard to be living home again. Especially because my parents pretty much treat me like a child while I'm living here. They have no idea how to relate to me as an adult.

Ask them directly to give you some space and maybe figure out something with chores (assuming you're doing some) so you know what's expected out of you regularly, but you're not being constantly reminded about them. Having an open discussion is really the only way you can solve this.

Get out of the house more too.

I work around the house. I offer to help all the time. The issue is more that they order me around like I'm still a child. And give me a hard time if I don't want to do what they are doing (like my dad bothers me about going to the gym with him every day and if I don't go makes a big deal about the whole $10 he spent on my membership and my mother tells me I'm being anti-social if I don't want to watch tv with them even though I hate most of the shows they watch and like having my space in the evening).

Unfortunately, while I'm now on the car insurance, because of my foot injury it still isn't really safe for me to drive.

Can you talk to them about this behavior or would it blow up in your face?

Possibly my mother, but we've had that talk before and she changes for a little while and then goes right back into the old patterns. My dad is an extremely strong F who takes any criticism or correction as a personal attack, even if it comes from my mother.

Right now, my mother asked to see some of my writing. And since all of it right now is gay porn, I'm having to come up with something that she can believe I've been working on today. Stupid me made the mistake of using writing as an excuse for why I wasn't out being social.

Edited 2015-11-12 01:41 (UTC)

Yeah, okay, your best bet is to not be in the house as often as possible. Just go to a library and tell your parents you're meeting friends or whatever. Anything. What I'm saying is, spend as little time as possible in the actual house.

Also maybe cancel the gym membership. Cancel stuff they have to pay for (if possible) so they have less stuff to use against you.

That's my advice. It's not perfect but it may help you last until you can get away.

IDT that's going to work if her parents complain that she's shunning them because she doesn't want to sit all evening watching TV with them.

True, however, she could just say she's following their advice by being active and having a social life.

I think "anti-social" in this instance means "doesn't want to spend every waking moment that she's not studying for the bar exam in our company." It didn't sound like her folks are actually encouraging her to have a social life that doesn't include them!

Oh. My. I- I have to admit I'm out of my depth then.

Try to have some distance whenever you feel especially frustrated with them. Take long walks, see friends, or just lock yourself in your room. Remind yourself that it is only temporary and how nice it will be when you get a place of your own again.

This helped me not snap at my grandmother at least when I had to live with her for some months a couple of years back.

I'd try to get out of the house as much as possible. Hang out at the library, coffee shop, wherever. Maybe start a new hobby or take some classes that serve as a good excuse to not be home. I'd also be tempted to give your dad $10 and say sorry, you don't think you'll be using the membership enough to make it worthwhile so there's his money back.

Do you have any friends in town who'd be up for rescuing you from time to time?

[ SECRET POST #3234 ]

Living at home

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