[ SECRET POST #3249 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3249 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #464.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Experiences with Suicide

[(Anonymous)]

Obviously talking about suicide here, so don't read further if you're adverse to that sort of thing.

I had something happen recently to me, so putting my comment the post below.

Feel free to talk about dealing with other people's suicides or your own attempts or thoughts.

Re: Experiences with Suicide

[(Anonymous)]

(Not OP) I'm not actually going to kill myself but I still think about it all the time. Everything is just so hard right now - no steady job (I freelance and my industry is dying), no money, physical health issues getting steadily worse, and I'm just failing at everything I try. I wish it was just the depression talking but it isn't. I'm objectively bad at my job and my secondary job pays even less than the first.

The only reason I haven't cut myself is that I keep anything sharp enough to cut my skin away from the house (my skin is really tough from years of cutting much earlier in my life). Although I've come close to overdosing on my medication a couple of times that just means I have to buy more and be even more poor.

Life sucks and if I didn't have a family and a partner I'd be gone.

Re: Experiences with Suicide

[kallanda_lee]

I'm so sorry. You sound a bit like me, and lord knows that is not a good thing.

I'm back to thinking about death a lot, too. It sucks. Though I think actually coming close once (okay, more than once) put me off trying again (and for the record, I do NOT recommend that as a method).

But yes, being depressed can cloud things, but sometimes things just objectively suck.

First of all: is there someone to talk to? Not necessarily a professional, but someone who will acknowledge you being depressed AND your life currently being shitty without being judgmental or dragging their own shit into it?

Secondly, are there steps you can take to un-suck your life? Not all at once obviously, but step by step? By this I mean very concrete things - if your industry is dying, could you take joy in doing something else, what?

Are there ways to generate money on the side? This could be anything from a side job to having an Etsy shop o buying/reselling on Ebay?

Also, if you are taking medication (and it's for mental health) are you sure it's still the right dosage? Could you benefit from a different brand? Resistances can change over the years.

If all else fails, are you in a place that would make you eligible for disability if you have a mental illness? If yes, what are the criteria?

Sorry that's all I have. Keep in mind I'm not great at un-fucking my own life. The last time I was in a similar state I was still a minor, so it was different in many ways, as were the solutions. And the solution was basically: scratch everything, start over, do't look back - which is indeed a lot harder when you have a job and a partner.

In any case, take care, and if you need to talk, let me know, I'll give you my e-mail (I'm also on tumblr, but slower to respond there).

Re: Experiences with Suicide

[(Anonymous)]

you okay anon?

Re: Experiences with Suicide

[(Anonymous)]

One of my relatives found a twenty-something who hung himself today and I've been thinking about it a lot.

Re: Experiences with Suicide

[(Anonymous)]

An old friend of mine killed herself about a month ago. I had literally no idea she was ever depressed.

It's doing a pretty good job of bringing my old issues back

Re: Experiences with Suicide

[(Anonymous)]

I realised that my suicidal thoughts are really serious. I thought about jumping off the shcool roof or a bridge, or drive recklessly in heavy traffic, or just cutting myself a bit closer to the blood vein. I was too scared to go through with it though, I hate pain and don't want to affect my family and friends.