[ SECRET POST #3253 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3253 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Fallout]


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03.
[Colonel Fitzwilliam, Pride and Prejudice 1995 miniseries]


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04.
[Master and Commander/Aubrey/Maturin series]


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05.
[Undertale]


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06.
[Justified]


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07.
[Fury, Don/Boyd]


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08.
(The Pioneer Woman/Ree Drummond)


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09.
[Interworld]











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 038 secrets from Secret Submission Post #465.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Not really.

[(Anonymous)]

(na)
Except there's more than one kind of sibling relationship.

(for the record, I know that people mean an specific idealized relationship when they talk about "sibling relationship", but the fact that it's possible to have that kind of close relationship with friends makes the expression kind of senseless)

[herpymcderp]

Yes, really. I'm talking any kind of sibling, blood relation or otherwise. Part of the sibling factor comes from having the same parental influence and formative environment.

You don't get that with a non-sibiling, even if you grew up in close contact.

[(Anonymous)]

well, I guess someone doesn't have any blood brothers

[herpymcderp]

I have one younger brother who is my blood relative both maternally and paternally. As far as I am aware, I don't have any other siblings via other means.

[(Anonymous)]

No, I mean, the kind of sibling where you swear a blood oath - you know what, forget it

[herpymcderp]

......People actually do that?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, I guess I'm using it as a kind of synechdoche for the broader concept of considering someone a brother, or "like a brother", or "like family" - in a serious way - whether or not you've actually gone through a family bonding ritual like a blood oath or something.

[herpymcderp]

I see what you're getting at. I guess my sticking point is that "sibling-like relationship" and "sibling relationship" have very different connotations to me.

I would say that relationship could be "sibling-like", certainly.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

We never took it super seriously, but yeah, when we were kids we did it! I've probs got something like seven blood-sworn siblings out there, that I haven't seen it eons. I could totally see people taking it more seriously than we did though.

[herpymcderp]

Well, that's kind of neat tbh.

[(Anonymous)]

fwiw my step-brother and I did a blood binding ceremony together when our parents got married and we both tend to default to referring to each-other as 'blood brother' rather than 'step-brother'. Which I'm sure is very confusing to people lol.

But for us, our families are asatruar, so blood brothers and shield brothers and whatnot is kind of an important concept to us.

nayrt

[(Anonymous)]

Aw. You don't know what a blood brother is. :(

Re: nayrt

[herpymcderp]

Like the pricking fingers or slitting wrists and binding them thing?

I know what that is I just...

That's not actually a thing people do is it?

[(Anonymous)]

You must not have a super, super close friend. I have a friend who is more of a sibling to me than any of my actual siblings.

[herpymcderp]

Well if you must know, I do feel closer to my best friend than my sibling. I fell in love with her, after all.

That's part of why I characterize those relationships as different.

[diet_poison]

Typically, though, when people say "sibling relationship" they're not referring to someone they're in a romantic relationship with.

What's really frustrating about this, and about this whole thread, is I think you know that. I get the distinct impression you just want to be pedantic for...reason? attention? self-back-patting? not really sure

[herpymcderp]

Well you can get that feeling all you like, but I actually didn't know what the OP meant.

[(Anonymous)]

Why? I could see what he was saying: the big difference between a sibling relationship and one someone might call a queerplatonic relationship is that the latter doesn't involve two people who've grown up together in the same household as close relatives.

You can be close enough to someone to think of them like a brother or sister, but your relationship would still be different than your relationship with an actual brother or sister, because it wouldn't have the specific shared experience that siblings have.

[diet_poison]

Okay but the whole point of even having the term "sibling-like relationship" is to compare it to the relationship you have with a sibling. It's the similarities that are emphasized in the term's very use.

I'm not even touching "queerplatonic" here.

[(Anonymous)]

Sure, but there are still differences between them. And you might not be touching queerplatonic, but the original question was "what's the difference between a sibling relationship and a queerplatonic one."

Why is it so offensive and bothersome to people ITT to say a sibling relationship is different from other ones?

[diet_poison]

Because it heavily implies that your blood/legal family members are automatically going to be more important/more special than your chosen family if you have one. Not everyone has a great relationship with their legal family. Not everyone grows up with their legal siblings and among those who do not everyone has super close relationships. It also devalues the term "sibling relationship" when applied to friendships.

[(Anonymous)]

Where are you getting the implication that it's more important or more special? There's no value judgment in saying a relationship with a sibling has things that make it different from a relationship with a friend. It's just different. Depending on someone's experience, a friend relationship could be more important and special than a sibling relationship. And the term is only devalued if you start from the belief that a sibling relationship is better than a friendship.

To put it bluntly, I'm not making the assumption that sibling relationships are better than friendships. YOU are.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't really understand the "like a sibling" relationship either. Mostly, because of the implication that siblings share close bonds that are different than regular friendships. Of course, I'm not close to my sisters at all so that may be why I dislike the term.

[(Anonymous)]

NA

I get this, and I agree. Plenty of people like their friends more than they like their siblings, not arguing that. But actual siblings (at least ones that grew up together) tend to be kind of bound together, in a way. I mean, they might even hate each other, but it's uncommon to see someone who can sever ties with their sibling completely, and even more uncommon to see someone who severs ties with their sibling and then slowly becomes indifferent to them. It seems like for most people, even if they haven't seen their sibling for twenty years, there's still something there, binding them together.