fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3257 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3257 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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03. [SPOILERS for Downton Abbey Season 6]

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04. [SPOILERS for Mockingjay Part 2]

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05. [SPOILERS for Undertale]

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06. [WARNING for rape]

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07. [WARNING for rape]

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08. [WARNING for child abuse]

[King Lear]

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09. [WARNING for abuse]

[Tales From the Borderlands]

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10. [WARNING for abuse, PTSD]

[Jessica Jones]

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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Is there such a thing as on-line agoraphobia? It's getting to that I'm so terrified of having cyber harassment and cyber violence that I am visiting less and less parts of the internet. This isn't OK but I don't know what I can do to combat it? I know that it's stupid because I've been on-line for about 20 years and have never actually faced anything I can't handle, but I feel like it's becoming such a widespread issue that I can't cope with the increasing possibility of being attacked or doxxed or having something traumatic done to me and I'm just sort of closing in on myself.

Has anyone else got past this kind of thing?

I've gone through it. Online persona management and using tools properly is about the best way to deal with it I've found so far. Cycle personae, ditch them, don't get too attached to names, refresh yourself regularly.

If it's a forum prone to the random hateful PM, just don't bother with PMs. Or, what I've been known to do, is train myself to simply not read them ( I read fast, so it took practice) and automatically deleting them.

I don't think there's an official name for this sort of thing yet, but it's almost certainly actually a thing that people experience.

Although I don't have this specific problem, I very much doubt you are alone in this OP.

I've never experienced it but maybe get a fandom or internet friend to explore sites with you? Join together or look at the pages at the same time so you're not all alone, and it keeps you grounded in that it's only some site, and your friends exist in other nicer spaces outside of it that aren't going away

It's not as awkward as it sounds, people share links or join things together all the time and no one thinks anything of it

I don't think it's "stupid". I think the internet is a wild west right now and a very dangerous place to be a woman. It makes sense to be afraid. The trick is to not let that fear stop you from getting out there. Men are trying to use that fear to get you out of their spaces. Are you going to let them?

this was slightly on the dramatic side.

tits or gtfo

NAYRT

Dramatic? Maybe. But, I mean, look at some of the subreddits that exist. The very fact that redpill is a thing. Look at 4chan. In some parts of the internet, this is not an exaggeration.

Okay. Sure. In some niche woman-hating parts of the internet, you will probably get harassed if your gender is revealed.

But seriously, the Internet has a place where anyone of any group is hated. I could say it's dangerous to be (insert any group including straight white male) online because of potential harassment.

NA

Its not just harassment women are facing online, it's actual violence.

I'm in the same boat. I find myself a lot less active these days online, mostly due to the fact that anyone will find a reason to start a comment war on almost anything, so I tend to browse quickly through most things. I comment occasionally, but it's rare.

Not exactly, but I will say that I'm ironically more paranoid about online safety while everyone is less so.

I was reading posts in some forums I used to go to, and while I never gave where I lived (I was a teenager so that was a huge NO) I told people my first name and what city I lived near. Now... I think I'd be hesitant to even say that much. I also had public LJ entries that were very identifying of who I was if you knew me.

For me, it's not just fear of online harassment, but fact that everyone is online now. Employers, coworkers, family members, friends, etc. Back when the internet was still on the niche side, I felt more confident that there was no way in hell anyone I knew would find my forum posts or my Livejournal. For starters, half of them would have to figure out how to search on the internet. Now anyone can find anything.

So yes, I'm worried about online harassment, but I'm also hesitant to complain about work on forums when for all I know, my coworker goes to the same one or will happen to google search just the "right" thing.

I've definitely went anon for years at a time because I was too anxious to speak to people. Even anon, I would get embarrassed as shit about what I was saying and be afraid someone would misunderstand me or hate me. These days I still worry, but less; I basically started forcing myself to comment when I had something to say, and with time it got easier.

Frankly, this is one of the reasons I don't post much or comment much on tumblr; I've heard so much about tumblr being hostile for next to no reason that putting myself out there scares me. I'm trying to be less cautious, though.

These things certainly happen, but probably less then we think; yes, there's tons of assholes on the internet, but there's a fair share of reasonable people too. It isn't easy to move past, but I think it's worth the effort!

I haven't really gotten past it, as I deal with agoraphobia irl and not just online. Mostly I manage it through being careful.

I never reveal my real name (only a small handful of close friends know who I am). I use psuedonyms for any site that doesn't require CC info. I mention where I live only in regional terms. I don't ever say definitively what my job is (though this is mostly because I have a VERY rare and unusual job).

And I try to avoid using the same UN on multiple accounts across multiple sites, and every few years I've changed UNs on many sites.

I feel you OP. I mentioned a few days ago that lately with what I've seen of people on tumblr and the like digging up background stuff on people to find potentially objectionable things they've done, I've started to get paranoid about confessing anything. Or people digging up some remainder of the stupidity of my early fandom days and spinning it into something sinister.

[ SECRET POST #3257 ]

Am I alone in this?

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