fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3276 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3276 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Nanny]

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[Inspector Gadget and the Gadgetinis]

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[Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood]

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Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mine below.

So there's this obnoxious asshat in my psych class in college. They've apparently been through some hard things in their life. Bullying, abuse, depression.

But they seem to have no sympathy for anyone who doesn't manage to deal with those problems in exactly as 'well' as they did. Otherwise they dismiss these people as weak, stupid, pathetic and/or selfish. Multiple people have tried debating with them about these things but it never usually gets through to this person and they tend to get downright mean and dismissive.

One time someone tried to explain the point of view of someone (probably themselves or someone they knew) who attempted suicide because of bullying. Not aggressive or hostile, but trying to get them to understand their perspective and why someone might feel that way. The class jerk dismissed it as "weak and selfish" and even went as far as to mock them ("abloobloobloo poor you"). After that most of us stopped bothering with them.

It's really difficult to have conversations about situations and personal experiences when someone is so dismissive of anyone who doesn't deal with things the way they did. Honestly it says something about them if they lack they ability to feel any sympathy if someone doesn't handle things the way they did. People with this attitude piss me off so much.

Just because you went through things and handled it doesn't mean you get to judge and mock people who didn't.

Honestly the way you describe it it sounds like a really bad coping mechanism/active repression.

Yeah that's true. They should get help for it. But still it bothers me that their coping mechanism is actively shitting on other people and making them feel bad for things they are probably already hard on themselves for.

Oh, of course. The one does not rule out the other, it would just be my assessment that person is not as okay as they pretend to be.

Yeah this. It sounds something like...IDK, maybe they get a lot of their self-worth from how well they survived their shitty circumstances and are unfairly projecting that on other people.

Like "Well, all MY worth comes from the fact that I was strong and didn't let this stuff affect me in X Y Z ways, if I wasn't I would have nothing else to give me worth, so if YOU aren't strong or did get affected in X Y Z ways, you must have no worth too." Or something along those lines.

That's kinda depressing to be honest. If all you have to feel good about is feeling like you handled shitty circumstances better than other people who did.

man is this person my mom

Happens to a lot of people, I'm afraid. My guess is that he's mocking those "weaker" than himself, because he's afraid of how close he got to NOT getting through the challenges he had to face. It's easier to distance yourself from past trauma if you can tell yourself you're nothing like those losers, etc.

It's very similar to the reasoning many women unconsciously use when they scorn rape victims... it's uncomfortable to think that you could be sexually assaulted, so you "cope" with it by telling yourself that no, it wouldn't happen to you, it must be something the victim did wrong to deserve it. YOU wouldn't do anything wrong, so you're safe, etc. etc. Twisted and wrong, but people will do a lot of mental gymnastics out of fear.

Multiple people have tried debating with them about these things.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like other members of the class (you included?) are ganging up on this person. And if you argue about the subject the way people do here and on tumblr, I'm not surprised that they "get downright mean and dismissive," since the tumblr style of argumentation is more or less "you're wrong, now shut up forever."

It's possible, but I've learned that some people can be bitter, abrasive assholes no matter they are approached.

Another possibility: I suspect Tough Guy/Gal has probably experienced similar callous responses to their own suffering and may think it acceptable, even expected, to continue the cycle.

Somebody who posted a really really spoilery TFA gif.

[ SECRET POST #3276 ]

Jackasses in real life venting thread

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Re: Jackasses in real life venting thread