case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-01-06 06:40 pm

[ SECRET POST #3290 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3290 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 022 secrets from Secret Submission Post #470.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: depression talk

(Anonymous) 2016-01-07 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
problem is they don't want my support and have told me to my face that they would rather not to talk to me or anyone
insanenoodlyguy: (Default)

Re: depression talk

[personal profile] insanenoodlyguy 2016-01-07 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
You made it clear that you were there if they changed their minds? Then you are fucking done.

No really. You are done. You did your part. If they ever come out of it, you will have something to do again but you have done all you can do without directly going against their wishes. Your hands are free.

Some people have a very destructive and toxic desire to drag themselves down. Not your fault. Send a card on appropriate birthdays and holidays if you must and do anything that's not running into a brick wall repeatedly which is what you still trying with this person right now is in essence. There's no reason to beat yourself up over things you have no power to change. You do not have the key to this person's miraculous recovery. You will not think of the one thing to say that will let you back in. None of it is your fault. Do your best to acknowledge and make peace with that and if it eats at you too much, nothing is stopping you from going to therapy, as long as its for you and not to "learn" for them (not accusing you of thinking of this, but I've heard of it happening before)
dethtoll: (Default)

Re: depression talk

[personal profile] dethtoll 2016-01-07 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, this. Some people can't and won't be helped. Either they'll swim to shore or drown, but there's nothing you can do about either one. The only thing you can do is not drown with them.

Re: depression talk

(Anonymous) 2016-01-07 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
thanks. i wish they'd go see or talk to someone sigh
insanenoodlyguy: (Default)

Re: depression talk

[personal profile] insanenoodlyguy 2016-01-07 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Wish nothing but the best for them. You aren't a bad person, you want better for them than where they are! Then, resume living.
Edited 2016-01-07 00:45 (UTC)

Re: depression talk

(Anonymous) 2016-01-07 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
thanks. i think i needed to hear that

Re: depression talk

(Anonymous) 2016-01-07 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
If you're feeling generous, let them know you'll be there if/when they're ready, but otherwise? Save yourself and don't let them drag you down with them. If their depression is affecting you in the sense that their behavior is affecting you, refuse to put up with that negative behavior as long as they refuse to get help. So for example, if a family member is depressed and their cleaning habits are disgusting, they do not get a pass for that just because they're depressed and don't want to address the problem.