[ SECRET POST #3300 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3300 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #472.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

So my brother and SIL are getting divorced. I'm not overly shocked (and definitely not upset, though I will feel bad for my brother if it's something he's upset about).

The problem is... it was my SIL who called my parents and told them on Wednesday, and my parents then told me. My brother only just spoke to them today (I have no idea if he even knows that his wife told our parents three days ago), but neither he nor my SIL have said anything directly to me.

My problem is... how do I react when he gets around to telling me? I'm absolute shit at the expected sympathetic noises and small talk, and while I do feel it sucks (since they seemed to get along tolerably) I kind of saw this coming before they even got married, so obviously, "I told you so..." is not the right thing to say. Do I just tell him I'm sure it's for the best? I hate platitudes like that because honestly it might not be for the best, but who knows.

Obviously I'll tell him he can talk to me when he wants to, we've always been really close, but he also kind of always knew that SIL wasn't really my favourite person, so I dunno if he'll really want to go into details with me...

What do, FS???

Re: Advice Thread

[sparrow_lately]

Take the cue from him, I'd say. If he's in an "ugh, of course this fell apart" mood, be like "hey it happens, it's not your fault"; if he's sad, be supportive and tell him that it won't always feel that bad. If he says you told him so, shrug it off for now. Be prepared for mood swings. And try to be the person he's always been close to!

Re: Advice Thread

[diet_poison]

You could try a practical approach. "Man, I'm sorry. That's always rough. Is there anything I can do for you?"

I think divorces are rough even if they're wanted by both parties, and he might be stressed/need some help.

Are there kids involved?

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'd go with I'm sorry bro..." and be guided by his emotional state. But even if he seems happy about it, trust me and DO NOT start trash-talking the wife. If they get back together, it'll be awkward as hell. Be diplomatic. "Well, you know [SIL] and I weren't exactly BFFs but I'm sorry this happened, etc. etc."


Don't say "it's for the best". Offer to listen if he needs to talk, maybe make plans to go see a movie or something if he needs/wants some distraction.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

"I'm so sorry to hear that. How are you doing/how are you dealing?"

It doesn't matter if you mean well, saying "it's for the best" or some other statement that implies he is stupid for jumping into something that was doomed from the start is very unkind, and not something a person wants to hear when they're reeling.