fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3304 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3304 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Law & Order SVU]

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03.

[Leonardo DiCaprio]

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04.

(Penny Dreadful: Caliban/John Clare)

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05.

[Star Wars]

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06.

[Kumail Nanjiani, The X-Files]

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07.

[Shin Megami Tensei X Fire Emblem]

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08.

[Love Live!]

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09.

[Severus Snape and the Marauders]

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10.

[Sherlock Holmes]

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11.

[Making a Murderer, Dean Strang and Jerry Buting]

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12.

[Colony]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #472.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Either it wasn't as sudden as you think, or there's a chance there could be something medically wrong with him.

People do not fall out of love with people in a single day. It's true that it does happen, but those changes take time and are never instant. In your case I'd ask him when he started to feel like that, or ... I might ask him to see a neurologist just to be safe.

I did ask him, multiple times. He said it was when he realized he saw me as a friend, which was Sunday, and gets annoyed and tells me "I already explained this to you" if I ask further. I didn't think it was that sudden either....

I don't want to alarm you, but based solely on your description of the events I wouldn't classify that as normal behaviour.

Sudden changes in personality or emotionality on that grand a scale generally point to something amiss in the brain; either injury or illness. I hope it isn't the case, of course, but I would personally be concerned about his health at this point.

I suppose it's possible, but given the circumstances and how often this happens, I'd say it's far more likely he's just a douche.

Neither you nor I have any way of saying that is the case.

I don't know if it's an mental issue, at least I hope not. He mentioned a few times I'm too attached to him, and he needs to start calling me by my full name, and he snapped at me to respect his decision when I was asking him to clarify some things this morning. I didn't think I was clingy, he has ample time to himself, and I always made sure not to crowd him. He says he's still sexually attracted to me, he's just not 'in love' with me. Then he started rambling about making those 'promises' when he was younger, and how everything we do together, sanz sex, is just what a 'good friend' would do. He's 'too comfortable' with me. He's never been really romantic or emotional, so I was confused what the difference was. He told me it was just 'how he felt' after realizing he only saw me as a friend.

He says he still wants me in his life as a friend, and that he thought it would be 'easier' in his head for us to just go from dating to friendship, because that's how he sees it. He then said over and over he didn't understand how I'm still in love with him, or why it's so hard for me to just accept his decision, etc.

On clarification, that seems like he's probably just an asshole who was never all that into you and was just saying the right thing to make you stay around for easy sex. The way you first described it seemed like a 180... this is less so.

On the whole I'd say that's probably better than having to worry about whether or not he has developed a brain tumor.

Ah, I guess that makes sense. Thank you...

Yeah, he's a douche. He's made his decision, and now he doesn't want any fuss or complications, which is why he's snapping at you not to question it. He's even going so far as to retcon your relationship and act like it was only ever a glorified friendship all along. This is something only a douche would do.

Don't be surprised if he still hits on you or offers you a one night stand. Saying he's still sexually attracted to you is a poorly disguised way of saying that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, but he'll still hit it if you're offering. DON'T DO IT. You're too emotionally involved with him to be friends with benefits, and it will hurt you like hell to try.

This is his way of trying to have his cake and eat it, too. He'll string you along because he knows you're still in love with him, so he can keep you on the back burner until he gets a better offer. Don't fall for this asshole's manipulations. It will hurt to break things off with him, but the sooner you do it, the sooner you can start to move on.

"He then said over and over he didn't understand how I'm still in love with him"

he's a douche who doesn't care about other people's feelings. Its totally reasonable that you are still in love with him - feeling your own emotions isn't ~not respecting his decision~. He isn't being a good friend so don't buy this whole he wants to still be friends story - you need to heal and move on, and it doesn't sound like being friends with this guy is the best way to do so.

Nobody can say for sure, but we can certainly figure out which scenario is more likely. The BF's behavior is hurtful and surprising but sadly not at all unusual. Positing neurological issues is a stretch.

[ SECRET POST #3304 ]

Re: He fell out of love with me

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