[ SECRET POST #3315 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3315 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #474.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: "only you can help yourself"

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. I can even say, I let my own self-loathing lead me to rely on others for my self-worth, and I ended up in abusive relationship after abusive relationship.

Once I finally came to a point of self-love (for me it took five years with an excellent therapist), I started making awesome true friends at long last. My friendships are healthier now, and I've realized that in relationships, it's healthier for me personally to not be a in a co-dependent or abusive one.

You are the only one who will always be there for yourself, even when everyone else in your life is gone. Putting your entire sense of self-worth on others is a precarious balancing act that I performed for far too long.

I just started small. Like finding something, no matter how tiny, that I liked about myself. It can be as silly as you want (like "I make a mean ham sandwich."). The key is learning how to keep that little seedling growing.

Re: "only you can help yourself"

[(Anonymous)]

"With the help of a therapist"

That's the point in saying this idea is bullshit, tho. You can NEVER pull yourself up on your own. You need help. That's exactly why it's such a bullshit sentiment. It's not about putting your self-worth in others, it's about how it's not a helpful phrase because we all need help at times.

Obviously, you weren't the only one there for you. Or you wouldn't have done this with a therapist.

Re: "only you can help yourself"

[amethyst_rei]

A therapist is very, very different from a romantic partner, or even a friend. Your therapist is obligated-by-law to help you gain emotional (amongst other types of) independence so that you can form healthy relationships with others, and has been trained to do so. Your partner/friend is/has not.

When you go to a therapist, it's with the intention of sorting yourself out. Of bettering yourself. And you trust them because they're licensed to do just that.

Re: "only you can help yourself"

[amethyst_rei]

This is why I'm currently not dating anyone. For reasons I won't get into, my self-esteem took a pretty huge hit and I'm working to "re-build" myself, if that makes sense. I've been asked out a few times, even by a guy I sorta liked, but I don't dare enter a relationship when I'm so emotionally vulnerable. I don't want to be emotionally dependent on anyone. I know what happens when you rely on someone else to feel good about yourself and that person uses your reliance against you--uses it to control and manipulate you--and it's not something I want to go through again.