fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3341 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3341 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[David Mitchell/Victoria Coren, British Comedian RPF]

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03.

[Assassin's Creed Rogue]

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04.

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05. [SPOILERS for Letters From The Inside]

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06. [SPOILERS for The Force Awakens]

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07. [SPOILERS for Gintama]

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08. [SPOILERS for The Something? Supernatural? Maybe?]
[WARNING for non-consensual relationships]

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09. [SPOILERS for Walking Dead]
[WARNING for parental incest]

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10. [SPOILERS for Black Mirror]
[WARNING for bestiality and rape]

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11. [SPOILERS for Bioshock Infinite]
[WARNING for incest]

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12. [WARNING for underage]

[Leon: The Professional]

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13. [WARNING for abuse]

[Venus Angelic]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #477.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I deal with importing and exporting commodities, one of which is sugar.

One of the women from another team comes up to me and asks "Sugar?" in relation to the commodity slip she has.

I thought it would be funny for the split second it took me to decide to respond with "Yes, Honeybunch?" It got a laugh which on reflection may have been an uncomfortable laugh and now I'm kinda freaking out that I crossed a line. I'm partly worried about disciplinary action, but mostly worried I made the woman feel uncomfortable around me, that I've made her working environment feel demeaning and hostile. Advice? I mean the obvious thing to do would be to go to her on monday and ask "Did that Honeybunch remark on friday make you feel in anyway unsafe or uncomfortable" but then if it was a genuine laugh she may well have written it off and forgot all about it, so me obsessing about it makes me look weird and slightly deranged. Or it might look like I was obsessing about it because I have a crush on her or I mean to be sexually aggressive. How do I handle this?

No big deal just ask and say it was an attempt at a joke and you hope she's not offended

seconding this. Don't overthink because there might be a sexual harrassment quality to that sort of joke. People tell jokes that are out of line, people apologize, people will be viewed as mature and unlikely to be making sleazy jokes anytime soon.

Just go about your business normally. No, really normally. Don't be extra nice to her so she knows you're not a creep, don't avoid her because otherwise it'll be SO AWKWARD. Just be normal. It was one stupid comment. It'll only become a thing if you make it a thing. And in the future, don't do it again unless you are 1000% sure that the other person will appreciate the joke.

Eh. Not really a huge deal.

All you really need to do is say something along the lines of, "By the way, about the other day, if I offended you with my joke that was certainly not the intention."

That should do it.

Yeah, this. What you did was eye-roll worthy, not sexual harassment.

NAYRT I don't see the difference.

Re: Did I cross a line?

iceyred - 2016-02-27 01:25 (UTC) - Expand

It wouldn't be harassment. You only did it once.

And honestly, if she was offended by that, she is a fucking moron. That is a cute joke. I wish I ahd the opportunity to use it.

Stop obsessing, act professionally and don't say anything unless she brings it up first. It was a joke, and she understood it. It's not like you called her Sweet Tits or anything.

The social media may sometimes make it look otherwise, but women in general are not delicate flowers who take offense at every little thing.

Ugh. Gross.

Just apologize. Either you will make yourself look like an idiot - which some might say you deserve - or you will make her feel safer at work. What's more important? you saving face or the woman's working environment being comfortable for her?

If a joke like that alone makes someone feel unsafe, then that's on them.

OP doesn't deserve anything bad for simply making a joke. Grow up. Quit insulting women by making them out to be delicate china dolls who feel unsafe at anything possibly construed as offensive.

diet_poison - 2016-02-27 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

am I the only one who thinks this sounds made up?

If it's not, then seconding all the anons - I thought it was funny, if she's really upset I think she's overreacting, and you can always say "hey, I hope my joke on Friday didn't make you uncomfortable - it was just a play on words, I wasn't actually flirting or anything".

ETA: to clarify the reason it feels made up to me is all the buzzwords and it sounds like it could be an anti-feminist hyperbolistic trollpost. But it might not be. Might just be a weird reaction on my part.

Edited 2016-02-27 00:39 (UTC)

As an overthinker myself, I can totally see this as being something someone was genuinely freaking out about.

diet_poison - 2016-02-29 03:57 (UTC) - Expand

Move on and stop over thinking it.

Are you male? Then yes.

I don't know why you even bother. It's just embarrassing.

pfft lol

Eh, no big deal. Just go about business as usual. It was most likely forgotten a second later. If it comes up again, just explain that it was a joke and no harm was intended.

Yeah this isn't a big deal at all. Just let it go.

Personally, I would've laughed too. I've made jokes like that in the past but don't overdo it. I think you're fine, Pumpkin.

Hey, sorry if that came across wrong. I was trying to be funny.

If you think that qualifies as sexual harrasment then we as a species are doomed.

That's sitcom quality humor, but no worse than that.

Don't worry about it. You're fine.

The obvious thing would be to let it go, Elsa. Even if your dad joke made her uncomfortable, she's probably written it off and forgotten about it - "guy says something kind of weird and stupid once" isn't really a big event. You bringing it up again days later is more likely to make her uncomfortable.

Just go about your business, treat her like a normal human being, and if you're worried about those sorts of jokes upsetting your co-workers, don't make them any more.