[ SECRET POST #3344 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3344 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]


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03.
[The Vision/Wanda Maximoff (Marvel's The Avengers)]


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04.
[New Tricks]


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05.
[One Punch Man]


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06.
[Karen Page, Daredevil (Netflix)]


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07.
[Gamer's Guide to Pretty Much Everything]


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08.
[Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D]


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09.
[Good Omens]


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10.
[J.K. Rowling]


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11.
[Ace Attorney 6]


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12.
(Borderlands, Dameon Clarke)













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #478.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

tw: suicide, family loss

[(Anonymous)]

A family member I live with has been ill, and it's likely they won't be around very much longer. The person in question has been emotionally abusive to me since childhood, and even though they're family, I don't feel close to them at all. In recent years, the abuse has been bad enough that I've considered/attempted suicide, and I've been to therapy over it. I'm better now, but the emotional scars remain.

At the inevitable funeral, how do I show grief? I don't feel any kind of sorrow over the current situation (even in their failing health they insist on belittling me), but my family will be very upset with me if I don't act heartbroken over it, especially since I'm known to be emotional when watching movies and other "silly" things. I've never been one to cry at funerals anyway, but I know there will be problems if I don't at this one.

Re: tw: suicide, family loss

[(Anonymous)]

geez, anon, that sucks, but your family is dicks for expecting you to "show" grief.

anyone can tell you that all people grieve differently, even when they do feel sorrow or loss, so anyone who thinks you're a terrible person because you're not sobbing at a funeral is the jerk in this situation. I don't know of any tactful way to handle someone overreacting to your underreaction, unless you want to be a dick right back. all I can do is cross my fingers that no one will get on your case.

Re: tw: suicide, family loss

[(Anonymous)]

Tell them flatly that you're not shedding any bitter tears for someone who has been cruel and hateful to you all your life.

Re: tw: suicide, family loss

[(Anonymous)]

I take it your family is aware of your past history and they think you should just get over it? That's pretty crappy of them. Please don't feel that you have to fake being sad just to please other people. Look somber and reflective, and if people take you to task for not being a weepy mess, just look at them calmly and say that we all grieve in our own way and you will do yours privately.

Or you can be more snippy and ask them if they're the Funeral Police or tell them to mind their own fucking business.

Re: tw: suicide, family loss

[mrs_don_draper]

Honestly, if you don't feel sad, don't fake it. You don't owe them anything especially after how they've treated you.

Re: tw: suicide, family loss

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like your family is a bit abusive themselves, or at least enabling of abusive family member's behavior.

If they get on your ass about your lack of emotion, just say you're numb. Whether or not you feel anything, people grieve in their own ways, and it's all normal.

People who DEMAND a specific reaction to a situation usually have issues IMO, but since it's a funeral and they're probably grieving too, I'll give them a one-time pass.

If they get on your ass later, tell them your feelings on the matter are complicated, that it's not up for discussion. You don't owe it to them to justify your lack of grief. If they're still causing you problems after that, it's probably time to limit your interactions with these people without guilt.