[ SECRET POST #3357 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3357 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #480.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

If your professed identity is making you miserable, especially to the point where half your OTP being aro/ace makes you panicky... I dunno. I'd say get therapy, but I assume you've been told that before. I don't normally question the existence of types of attraction, but it sounds to me like you have heavy duty trust issues. Aro/ace people aren't attracted to anyone, straight people are attracted to the opposite sex, pan people are (potentially) attracted to everybody, bi people are attracted to their gender and other genders. Being attracted to fictional relationships between fictional characters, but thinking of it as a poor substitue for the real thing, sounds like a coping mechanism for a fear of intimacy, especially since you desperately want to be in a RL relationship. Like, if you were happy/content/just plain didn't think about it, cool, whatever. But panicky and miserable... eesh. I get being sad/scared of people judging you for who/what you're into/not into, or having to work through whatever internalized -phobia, but absent all that, it seems weird that you consider your sexuality ... settling, or a cause for despair. I hope your brain stops giving you shit about your sexuality someday.

[(Anonymous)]

sounds like a coping mechanism for a fear of intimacy

See, this is the bit that people don't seem to get:

I am not afraid of intimacy. I am also not "just really picky." I am simply not attracted to people. I have plenty of both male and female friends - some I've been friends with since childhood and others I've become friends with more recently. I am not some kind of island. I am simply not attracted to people.

Also, I am an atheist with sex positive parents. I have enjoyable, and relatively explicit conversations about sex with my mom. My friends all know I read kinky smut. I really don't have "hang ups" about sex. I'm just not attracted to people.

Like, let's presume you are a straight female. imagine all the men in the world vanished tomorrow and all that was left was women. Would you consider the fact that you weren't attracted to anyone proof of "intimacy issues" or "trust issues" or "pickiness"? NO. YOU JUST WOULDN'T BE ATTRACTED TO ANYONE.

The fact that people like to presume ace folks like me can't tell the different between "Gee I might actually be attracted to people underneath all these issues I have" and just not being attracted to people is...like, what makes you think that way? What makes you so arrogant that you believe you understand another person's sexuality better then them, when they have been living with it for their entire lives? I just will never get that.