fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3370 ]

[ SECRET POST #3370 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3370 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Okay, if you remember, I'm that anon who asked "Should I watch the Hobbit movies?" a while ago in the GC. I watched all three of them now.

So:

An Unexpected Journey: I liked it a lot, not nearly as good as any of the LOTR movies, but had a lot of scenes I REALLY liked, especially Bilbo and the dwarves before the journey, Gandalf and Galadriel, and Bilbo and Gollum and finding the ring. The last one really did the book scene justice and also did it with a different foreshadowing twist with the ring. And I really liked the more substantial characterization and pathos for the dwarves and their quest, especially Thorin. They weren't particular noticeable characters in the book and Thorin wasn't very sympathetic in the book at all, which I didn't MIND because it wasn't the point of the book but it was very nice to see that changed for the movie.

Desolation of Smaug: Ehhhh, okay? I really liked all the Smaug and Bilbo stuff and the parts with Bard, and Thranduil was the fabbest of the fab even if he wasn't really how he was in the book, but there was a lot of padding, most of which wasn't even the fun kind of characterization-building padding from the first movie, and I was sort of boggled that they managed to stretch such a small amount of plot into such a long movie. Also wtf was Legolas even doing in the movie? He had no reason to be in it at all. Mind you I like Legolas a lot so this isn't because I don't like him as a character.

Battle of Five Armies: WTF. No seriously, wtf WAS that? How did anyone possibly think that 2.5 hour stretch of droning battle footage and special effects and fucking Alfrid constituted a movie that was suitable for distribution and release? And...not even that, what made it 100x worse was that it was punctuated by some REALLY good stuff. Like, that acorn scene, the standoff between the armies before the orcs showed up and then the dwarves and elves uniting without having to even discuss it, Thorin's death scene (which was AMAZING), Bilbo's interference and attempts to bring some sanity into the picture because everyone else had lost their minds...there were some little moments of the movie that were SO on point, conveyed the sense of the idiocy and futility and self-perpetuating mess of war SO well, almost to a Bridge on the River Kwai's "Madness! Madness!!" level -- and then not two minutes later was whiplashing into fucking video-game-shoot-em-up level of showoffy bullshit. YOU CAN'T DO THAT KUHJHDGUFGYDUKJKDSKJSKJ how could anyone think that was remotely okay to do goddddddddd.

The good bits of DoS and BOFA could have been edited together into one movie and still have time to spare tbh.

Curious: how did you feel about Tauriel?

OP

I thought she was fine in DoS: I thought her little flirtation with Kili was pretty cute since it was such a little inconsequential thing, and while she was IMO rather poorly-written and cliched, the fact that I was certain there were a lot of little girls in the audience who deeply appreciated having a bamf elf woman onscreen was enough to outweigh that.

In BOFA she was terrible and her feelings and actions made no sense but the same could be said of everyone except Thorin and Bilbo, so I didn't really take it as anything specifically to do with her, she just wasn't an exception to the rest of the movie.

I felt very similarly, except that by the time we got to Thorin's death scene, I was underwhelmed because the movie had been so chock full of fight scenes and none of them were all that good compared to the ones in LOTR. I still think they should've had another moment to bring more closure to Thorin, Fili and Kili's deaths and what happens now to the remaining dwarves.

DA
I think underwhelmed is a good description for my feelings for a lot of things. A lot of the things OP lists as positives are good but they were underwhelming to me, and I think that's why the negatives stand out more starkly to me.

ayrt

My expectations weren't very high after seeing the first hobbit movie and after DoS... well, I just wanted BotFA to NOT be a disaster and I kind of felt like it was? Not all of it, but it was such a mess. I don't mind Tauriel, though I felt she was underused and had much more potential than was shown. The set design/special effects didn't impress me, not even Smaug.

I remember my primary reaction to BOTFA was disbelief, like, I can't believe they actually thought anyone would want to watch these idiotic battle scenes, so I feel you.

It was a letdown, I agree. I didn't think they'd top the Battle of Helms Deep in The Two Towers, but BOTFA wasn't even close.

Battle of the Five Armies offended me so much it unfortunately kind of soured me on the entire Hobbit series :( I still like the books, but a lot of things I really liked about the movies weren't even in the books at all (like the whole Bilbo/Thorin relationship), so it's not a huge consolation.

I will still occasionally watch that first 30 minutes or so of AUJ though, from Gandalf and Bilbo's "Good Morning!" scene to Bilbo meeting up with the dwarves after running after them the morning after they leave on the quest.

Thorin's death scene in the movie bugs me because when he runs off, Dwalin goes with him, but then Dwalin comes back to save Bilbo's ass, and there's no explanation given for it.

And every time I rewatch the movies now I hate Thorin's death because the only reason he died was because Dwalin wasn't there to back him up. And he should have been. He went with him! And then.... turned around and came back? For no reason?

I mean, Bilbo is great and all, but Thorin was Dwalin's king and if Thorin had ordered Dwalin back... I think we needed to see that scene. Seriously.

(Also, after saving Bilbo, Dwalin pretty much disappears entirely until they're all gathering around dead Thorin. It really, really bothers me. )

Also, Thorin might not have died if he hadn't changed out of the armour he'd been wearing while in Erebor. Yes, yes visual cue that he'd beaten the madness and returned to himself, but dear god, he died because a) Dwalin wasn't around and because b) he wasn't wearing proper armour.

From an in-universe perspective I'd say it's quite probable that Thorin ordered Dwalin to go help Bilbo tbh, but yeah that entire battle was very choppy and unclear, no real flow or communication driving the action from one scene to the next, just "let's pop over here for a bit, now lets go over here, now over here."

nayrt - This. Very poor planning and choreography in the battle as a whole. I suppose one could argue that it's a more realistic portrayal of war being chaos, but realism is hardly the point in a fantasy epic and it didn't make for a good cinematic moment.

Great read! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I remember when you posted, so it is good to see a follow up. :)

Haha, those were my feelings, basically. I hope someday a dedicated fan does a "good parts" cut of those three movies, and maybe we'll end up with something good.

I've heard there already is one, they made a single 4 hour movie.

Huh. From googling, it looks like the cut removed Tauriel completely - which I'm a bit sad about, but I get it. Her arc didn't end up well done.
I shall have to go watch it.

LOL, are you me? This was pretty much my exact progression of feelings while watching these movies!

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[ SECRET POST #3370 ]

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