[ SECRET POST #3371 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3371 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #482.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What annoys you at the moment?

[skeletal_history]

Yep, I'm female, and this is a sadly familiar dynamic to me, too. I thought for sure he was better than that, though. :(

At least when he was whining to me on Friday, I was upfront with the fact that there was no way I'd do this job for him and that his complaints were silly and easily solvable. He was literally giving me puppy dog eyes while complaining that one of the reasons he couldn't do the job was because there was no chair in the room he had to work in, and other trifling shit like that. I was like, "Uh, so bring in a folding chair from home, then. What does this have to do with me??"

"There's really bad lighting in the room!"
"Well, you could bring your own lamp."
"There are no convenient plugs!"
"You could get a camping lantern for the table, they probably sell them at Target for $20 or something."
"...But [something ridiculous]"
"[Simple solution]....Really, dude, it sounds like you don't need me to do this job, you just need a life coach!"
"Ha ha ha. *sad puppy eyes* You know, I'm just trying to help you get experience in this field."
"I know, and thank you for that, I appreciate it, but I think I'll find something else for me to work on. Now, about this other subject..."

I mean, seriously?! He'd never acted like this before, or I wouldn't have worked with him in the first place!

We've even talked about turning this project into a conference presentation and a paper, and I've said directly, "If we do this, I want to contribute to it as an equal and I want to be listed as a co-author." But thinking back, he didn't say unequivocally, "Yes, of course," in response, but just kind of murmured vaguely...

Man, this shit is so disappointing.


E: I apologize for using "whom" incorrectly in the first sentence of my first post. :P

Re: What annoys you at the moment?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry. You went into this project in good faith, giving him benefit of the doubt. Some men have this weird problem where they think they're better than their female co-workers, but at the same time seek this mommy/son relationship. They whine, you come fix their problems, and then they feel better because they're able to command your loyalty. It's a screwed up dynamic to say the least. Well. It sucks, but now you know what you're dealing with here and you know the guy doesn't deserve your hard work and effort.