fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #433 ]

⌈ Secret Post #433 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 80 secrets from Secret Submission Post #062.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, [ 1 2 3 4 5 ] not!secrets, [ 1 2 ] not!fandom, [ 1 2 3 ] too big, [ 1 2 ] repeat, [ 1 ] personal attack.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, we've played. It's been a while since your current characters aren't exactly people my current characters would interact with, but we've played quite a chunk. I've really enjoyed playing with you, too, because I think you're one of the best and most human people in CFUD, period.

.... well. thank you? I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT but seriously honey. sweetie. uh, I have no idea who you are, but having that much bitterness toward any group of people in CFUD (or anywhere) is not really healthy in the long run! I know, I've been there. And it sucks and hurts and DOES alienate people. :|b

ZEN OUT, drink some tea, go play some games or you know, talk to someone? Which I'm sure you already do.

and in case you're interested, we just posted another discussion post, in case any of your concerns are things that CAN be brought up there.

I was thinking of picking up a more approachable character to be able to play with you again, actually! I really miss playing with you D:

Well, the thing is... I'm afraid to put up a hiatus notice. You can probably guess why. And just vanishing for a week or two to get into touch with myself or similar stuff just doesn't seem too fair to the people who I'm playing with.

I'd just get the same accusations of being a dirty liar over there as well, so I'd rather leave it at this. Just look at this thread - I admit I wasn't particularly diplomatic, but the reactions are exactly the things I'm criticizing in the first place :/

Now I really want to know who this. D: I'M SORRY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO PLAY WITH YOU?! or. something.

About the hiatus notice . . . I don't know. Maybe a not-hiatus? Although I have no idea how many characters you have, so that might not help! You said you already play with a small group of people, so there goes the "Scaling back into comfortzone" deal.

I found that focusing on stuff for a character helped, though. Like making an FST or looking for fanfic/doujin, or uh, redoing icons. So maybe focus on not the PEOPLE or the players, but the characters you have and/or the relationships you enjoy playing?

Nobody here was exactly diplomatic but I'm really kind of . . . UPSET isn't the word, but more disappointed at the reactions you got. I'm sorry for that, by the way, and yeah it probably would have been worse on OOC scale had you been logged in. Sadly I'm not entirely certain how to word any of the issues you've mentioned having in a way that DOES fit our "criteria" for the posts, really, so it wouldn't help.

MAYBE I WILL TELL YOU. SOMEDAY. WHEN I'M NOT GONE WITH THE... uh... privacy? Fear? Something like that!

The thing is... I still love the game, in some fashion. I just hate the way the - unfortunately - majority (especially on IRC) treats other players behind their backs. I seriously dread every single time someone not from my "group" comments on my posts... it's gotten better since I quit IRC, mind you, but I still get the occasional email or comment trying to put me into situations I'm not comfortable with. It's gotten to the point where I've gotten afraid to approach new players - either they might be drawn into specific circles or specific circles might accuse me of trying to do the same... if that makes sense? My head hurts.

Of course, maybe I'm just "whiny" or "bullshitting" or even just "lying", so who knows.

[pets]

Mmm well the comments/situations, communication IS the key, so don't ever be afraid of telling them "thanks, but no thanks" and if they give you hell, we'll beat 'em up! Because I do tend to play within my own circle as well, and CFUD is such a big game that we can't play with everyone like we used to. I do hope that someday (soon) you'll get comfortable enough to approach new characters -- or existing characters!-- and build IC relationships, even if we're not in your direct comfortzone. Because one day, we might be, and groups can and do overlap. Or something like that.

Even if you are just whining or bullshitting or even lying, who cares? Those who're secure enough can deal with it, and those are going to use the anonymous opinion of someone who've they've already SHOWN not to care about to skew their own beliefs need to also sit back and relax.

That makes no sense.

But communication only works if the other person is really listening. I got talked into a relationship I was uncomfortable with once before and only got "out" of it when the player dropped the character over night (I wasn't sure whether to feel insulted or relieved, honestly).

I think I understand what you're trying to say. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I understand.

Oh, ew. Yeah that's... not good. :/ [HUGS] if anything, if you ever need help with talking to someone again, I can try to help? And Gongji too. She's actually a lot better at this than I am.

Basically if they're going to let someone (who they've shown they don't respect) influence them and the way they view the game, it's their own damned fault. I-I hope that helps.

NOT MATSU, b-but if you ever want to contact me and talk, since you said you don't like IRC, I'm on Gchat as angelamourpeach and e-mail as sailorN1@aol.com?

Thank you! <3 I know you're always trying to do your best with people in this situation, and I'm incredibly grateful I belong to the group of people you're offering help to. I may email you, I just really need to think about what happened here today and whether I'm willing to sacrifice my comfort to a game I still love... even if I loathe it at the same time.

YEAH, I do try if I think I can help, 'cause I've been there and it wasn't fun. And I'd be flattered if you did e-mail me (and you're always welcome to play with me and mine, since we're pretty open and always like touching new people in fun ways).

To be fair, random anon thinks most (not all, I'll give you that, but most) of the replies to you have been pretty decent and un-wanky, particuarly considering the way you worded your original comment.

Not here to put you down more, as I'm not even in the game, but a lot of these people seem to be keeping themselves in check, and I don't think saying "but the reactions are exactly the things I'm criticizing in the first place" is that accurate.

Well, the problem is that I *know* they're keeping themselves in check. So extrapolating from the actual comments to what the players are thinking and would like to do with me - OOCly or ICly - is not particularly comforting, if you know what I mean.

[ SECRET POST #433 ]

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