case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-04-07 06:49 pm

[ SECRET POST #3382 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3382 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 093 secrets from Secret Submission Post #483.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Sex question

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
If OP cannot trust their partner literally telling them how they feel about things, then the issue is deeper than sex. How do they trust them about anything else?
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Sex question

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-04-07 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Also the thing is that YEAH, sometimes in a relationship one person might want sex more than the other, and yeah, have sex for the benefit of their partner - but, that doesn't mean it's non-consensual. There's more than one reason to have sex.

Re: Sex question

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
that doesn't mean it's non-consensual

That's kinda exactly what it means. consent isn't just the absence of a No, it has to be an enthusiastic and genuine yes.

Re: Sex question

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
oh, good grief.

Re: Sex question

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Saying yes because you know it'll make your partner happy even if you're not 100% in the mood is different than saying yes because you feel there would be an emotional/relational repercussion from saying no.

There are asexual people in relationships who have sex with their partners because it makes their partner happy. That is not non-consensual if they know they can also say no and it will be respected.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Sex question

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-04-07 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I disagree.

Also, I'm not talking about an absence of no. Nor am I talking about feeling pressured or not having the guts to say no.
I'm talking about deciding to have sex for other reasons than just the sex - for example because you consider it important to the relationship, or as a form of bonding.Or hell yes, because you like pleasing your partner - when did that become a crime?

Re: Sex question

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
When men started using this to literally rape their wives and girlfriends.

Re: Sex question

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
LITERALLY GUYS! LITERALLY!
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Sex question

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-04-07 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, I thought FIGURATIVE rape was bad, but you know, SHIT GOT LITERAL NOW.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Sex question

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-04-07 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, baby's first radical feminism.
ibbity: (Default)

Re: Sex question

[personal profile] ibbity 2016-04-08 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
There is a difference between VOLUNTARILY CHOOSING to have sex when you aren't 100% in the mood but are okay with doing it, in order to bond or make your partner, who is not demanding or forcing you, happy, versus your partner demanding or forcing you into sex that you 100% DO NOT WANT because they do not care about anything except getting themselves off. If you aren't capable of differentiating between these two scenarios, you probably should not become romantically involved with another person because you aren't mentally mature enough to actually grasp what consent is.

Re: Sex question

(Anonymous) 2016-04-08 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
[audience laughter]