Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2016-04-14 07:00 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2016-04-14 07:00 pm
[ SECRET POST #3389 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3389 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 022 secrets from Secret Submission Post #484.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Inspired by #7
(Anonymous) 2016-04-15 12:01 am (UTC)(link)So I had this friend, less than a year ago even. She was sweet, nice, and the kind of person you just want to roll up in a blanket and hug all the time. Let's call her Person A. The problem began with Person A being the kind of person to go on self-loathing suicidal rants about once a day. Which in itself doesn't make her bad, like, I struggle to refrain from doing the same thing, but it can be overwhelming. Now, I met Person A through Person B, a fandom friend of mine, and B started to get emotionally overwhelmed by this and took a step back from their friendship.
Person A flipped out.
She decided that she was going to tell everyone in the fandom that B had been sending her harassing phone calls and vicious text messages and that she'd had to destroy her phone to get it to stop. I believed her, because I was closer to her at the time and I have a bad tendency to instinctively believe the person who claims victimhood the loudest. She turned the entire fandom against B with her lies, and I found out much later that she actually pushed B to a full-out nervous breakdown.
Person C was a mod in the fandom. C was friends with both A and B like I was and was trying to figure out what was true and what wasn't. C was the only mod who was really considering that A might be honest, because apparently A had a habit of exaggerating things, and that pissed me off. I told C, and C agreed, that she should be taken seriously even if her claims seemed overblown to others because I know what it's like to feel more strongly about a situation than the people I'm talking to.
The drama continued to evolve with no sign of ending, as A started accusing B of more and more outrageous things and contradicting herself more and more, and yet I still defended her because I ~knew how she felt~ and apparently was naive enough to really think she wouldn't make up lies like that.
The thing is, some of it was her lying out her ass, and some of it wasn't lies, just extremely manipulative versions of the truth. This pattern of manipulation was exposed when I did what B had done and told her I was taking a step back to clear my head (me and C had only each other to solve the case with, so we both wound up really stressed out by the whole thing even as we struggled to piece together some conclusion with all the inconsistent logs and screenshots that passed for evidence).
In fact, it was her reaction to me "abandoning" her that finally got me to stop defending her. She started alternating between messaging me yelling at me for being a shitty friend and sending me videos of herself crying and begging me to take her back. I blocked her on everything, multiple times in some cases until C threatened her with a public disciplinary thread on the staff forums, which apparently she wanted to avoid badly enough to stop making new accounts to Facebook me and shit. I upgraded from my beloved flip phone to a smartphone just so I could block her number. The last correspondence I ever got from her was a text pretending to be from someone else, saying that she'd killed herself and that ~the person who would for some reason be texting me from her phone~ hoped I was happy with myself, because I was her only reason to live.
Me and B and C are all friends now and haven't heard from A in months, but I spent far too damn long refusing to believe A wasn't the totally innocent little cinnamon roll I was so sure she was. I feel bad for her in a way because I don't think her unhappiness itself was a facade; I think she suffered from delusions, and perceived molehills as mountains. I felt that even if some of what she was saying wasn't true, I needed to protect her.
I'm torn between hoping she's okay, and hoping she actually did jump off a bridge in the end because a part of me is just that terrified of her now that I can see all the abusive manipulation in hindsight.
Re: Inspired by #7
(Anonymous) 2016-04-15 12:04 am (UTC)(link)Re: Inspired by #7
(Anonymous) 2016-04-15 12:06 am (UTC)(link)sending me videos of herself crying and begging me to take her back
Yikes. Yeah, whatever the deal is with this person, she definitely sounds like she's got some issues of SOME sort, and I do hope she is getting help for them or has gotten help for them.
That said, I'm REALLY sorry you, and persons B and C in this story, had to deal with that whole mess. Sounds like the mod in this story handled things pretty gracefully and maturely, too, so good on them for that.