fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3423 ]

[ SECRET POST #3423 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3423 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

tell them to show up 15 minutes before you actually want them there

Late by >1h, every so often never shows up.

Dump em. Late is one thing, but by an hour+ and not showing up? Unless they live far away (like a few towns over where you can hit heavy traffic in between or something), that makes no sense and I wouldn't tolerate it more then once.

If you are more committed, maybe give them an ultimatum and tell them you want them to be more considerate about that.

yeah dump them

that's bullshit

they obviously don't care about wasting your time

Stop dating them.

Flippant, yeah, but that's a deal breaker for me almost as much as someone constantly flaking on plans.

I broke up with him. There were a lot of other issues, but when I asked how he would handle reservations that had a specific time, he shrugged and said he didn't do that and never worried about being on time. In fact, he bragged about always being late to meetings at work.

Warnings, followed by spankings.

That may or may not encourage their tardy behavior. Just sayin'.

Do they have dyscalculia or another disorder that might indicate they have trouble with keeping time?

They could set an alarm to prevent an issue.

I dated someone who was chronically late. It turns out there were frequently... reasons. Some were that I just wasn't much of a priority in his life compared to, say, the internet. Sometimes it was because he was with someone else. Like the time he "napped and didn't wake up in time to drive here" and mysteriously didn't call me until the next day about it. And I believed it.

I mean I'm frequently late to things too, now--by like five to twenty minutes. Not very late. Please think long and hard about why someone would do this to you frequently.

Edited 2016-05-19 01:31 (UTC)

yr the best, chardo

Just because you were with a shit person doesn't mean everyone else who is late is guaranteed to be cheating. Think long and hard about your paranoid assumption jumping and keep it to your own life.

No, but it's a huge tell.

I was with a shit person, but that person wasn't unusually shit, usually. The more distance there is from that trainwreck the more I see that trains wreck a lot.

OP is talking about someone hours late or who stands them up, not just someone rolling in normal-late. You know? It's a bad sign and a lot of us make excuses for that.

That and frankly there are many ways to be unfaithful or disloyal without cheating, you know that. Someone who deprioritizes you to this extent doesn't deserve you, even if they aren't seeing someone else.

Edited 2016-05-19 23:25 (UTC)

I have to agree with most of the other voices here - unless there's a really really good reason, it sounds like you're not high on this person's priority list.

Sometimes I do have legitimate excuses, but long story short, if it is something I care about/really want to do/attend, I try my best to be on time. That said, I just take a long time to get ready and I'm bad at managing time/keeping track of time.

Maybe you should just talk to them? In the end, what you do is your decision. I wish you the best and improvement in your relationship if you continue with this person. :)

I feel that, by a certain age, you should know how long it takes to dress yourself. I think lateness is inexcusable 95% of the time. An adult shouldn't have to be told to be somewhere on time.

Always late? I would deal with it by dumping them. Either they don't give a fuck about me and my time (deal-breaker) or they're totally incompetent at managing their schedule (also a deal-breaker).

Start or leave without them

I'm not sure I'd date them for long, tbh. Being chronically late for everything usually means that a person is some combination of really disorganized/irresponsible, or that deep down, they don't care very much about anyone else's time or feelings. Being late is just the symptom of a far more troubling issue.

There really is no excuse for being late all the time. If this person has access to watches, clocks, alarms, etc. then it's not an accident that they're always late. They're late because they value their own time above yours, and because they believe it's okay to inconvenience the shit out of you for no particular reason. I guarantee you that such a person is going to display similar selfishness in other aspects of their life as well.

I wouldn't. I used to work for a guy who was always really late and frequently kept me waiting on him fir 2 hours. It was the most frustrating thing, since as long as there were no serious consequences and no one he felt had any real power got mad, then it didn't matter if he wasted my time and I was being unreasonable by getting mad. It was awful enough in a co-worker, I will never tolerate being in a relationship with someone like that.

Adding to the chorus of voices of people who wouldn't date the person.

By their behavior, they are showing that they don't respect you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3423 ]

How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

This is a brutally honest answer, but be careful with it.

Re: This is a brutally honest answer, but be careful with it.

Re: This is a brutally honest answer, but be careful with it.

Re: This is a brutally honest answer, but be careful with it.

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

As someone who is always late...

Re: As someone who is always late...

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?

Re: How do you deal with dating someone who is always late?