[ SECRET POST #3428 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3428 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #490.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: If you could create your dream movie/tv adaptation of a book/book series...

[(Anonymous)]

SA
For redoing adaptations that have already been done, I'd redo LOTR by toning taking out the Gimli comic relief, recasting Elrond and redoing the Arwen subplot, and letting Denethor and Theoden be their cool selves. Also, take out the thing they did to Faramir. I'd change the look so Rohan wasn't so volcanic looking. I'd also take out the Army of the Dead saving Gondor and just let it be an epic fight between armies like in the book. And, it it's really my dream adaptation, then the Scouring of the Shire would be put back in.

My dream-Hobbit wouldn't have Tauriel or Azog or any of that unnecessary additions that didn't do anything. I would not have "hot" dwarves. Kili would be blond; Bifur could speak; Nori would not be a thief, etc. I'd also not give any of them any lines. Fili, Balin, and Thorin would be the only dwarf characters with character arcs, and all other lines would go to Dori and/or Gloin. I wouldn't mind a cameo with Legolas (who would be a light-hearted elf like in the book) and we'd get to see more of Mirkwood and Thranduil's realm. Thranduil would get to have moments to show why Bilbo chose to die with him (if it came to that). We'd also get to meet Beorn's people. Bard would be a guard (but I'm happy to keep his kids; I liked them). He would be the warmonger and he'd have a nice plot dealing with the Master (who would be a shrewd, intelligent, charismatic character - NO ALFRID!).

I would also make the final battle interesting. I'd have actual army tactics (not endless one-on-one fighting) and I'd show elves, dwarves, and humans fighting together. If Bard's a guard, then his people would be armed and able to fight. He wouldn't take his children to Dale. I'd also make Dol Guldur interesting. Galadriel would have a sword (Elrond can do all the healing) and she most certainly would not be prone on the ground. She also wouldn't do that wraith thing. Celeborn and Cirdan would also be present. Dol Guldur would look like a corrupted elven settlement rather than an unimpressive castle. The goblin would've been cool-looking and menacing, and his tunnels would've felt claustrophobic and nightmarish, and the sequence would've been more horror than action. Bolg could still be hunting the dwarves and Thorin could be responsible for killing Azog, but I'd introduce Dain in a flashback about the Battle of Azanulbizar.

I'd also take out the whole dwarf-chase at the end of DoS, and I'd have Smaug attack them from outside the mountain like in the book, since I think that would be plenty scary. I'd take out the thing where they used Bain as a bow. I'd also take out the trolls and wereworms, and add way more wargs. I'm sure there's more I'm not thinking of.

Re: If you could create your dream movie/tv adaptation of a book/book series...

[(Anonymous)]

DA

You know what I would have liked in the Hobbit? I agreed that there being barely any female characters was a disappointment and Galadriel wasn't enough to make up for it, but instead of Tauriel being a boring cliche female love interest character, make the ACTUAL Captain of the Guard -- the one who gets shitfaced drunk and passes out -- female and have her and another female elf be like, Thranduil's scouts ahead to see what the dwarves are up to, and let them just be the characters who drop in on and comment on everything like Legolas and Gimli did in the books (and NEVER STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY WANT A DRINK RIGHT ABOUT NOW BC ELVES ARE RIDICULOUS FUNNY PPL), and also serve as the recognizable-named-characters to put an audience-face on the elf-soldiers of the elf-army at the end.

Re: If you could create your dream movie/tv adaptation of a book/book series...

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
When Tauriel was first announced, this was who I thought she'd be. I thought she'd was an expanded role of the Keeper of the Keys who Galion got drunk with (hell, make Galion a lady!). I was all for that. The Keeper had a role to play and you would certainly make that a woman without any issue. That sounded awesome.

What I actually wanted more than anything was to see Thranduil's wife. I wanted to see the queen of Mirkwood and I wanted her to be different from Galadriel and Arwen and Eowyn and all the other women we've seen. I wanted to see her with Legolas and Thranduil and to see a real family. I wanted to see the power-behind-the-throne and to have someone who was Thranduil's equal that he could talk with about the things the audience needs to know. There are just so many interesting things you could do with that kind of character. Instead, they went the most cliched route and fridged her (and Bard's wife too, ugh!).