[ SECRET POST #3429 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3429 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #490.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Well, if you don't know, there's a good chance your girlfriend doesn't know, either? Expecting her to read your mind and do exactly the right thing when you don't know what that is... well, that's asking a lot and it's not very realistic. Why not take some time to figure out what you want, and then ask her for it-- at a time when you're NOT upset?

"Hey, [gf name], the other day I was really upset and needed some extra emotional support. I think what would really help is if [insert your needs here]. Could you help me with that?"


The key is communicating your needs clearly. Would you like her to take a five minute break and hold you? Make you a cup of tea? Let you vent for a while, even if it's not coherent? Sit down and talk it out? The more specific you can be, the better chance you have of her understanding what it is you need. I know this sounds blunt, but you simply cannot just do a big sadness dump another person and demand they fix it for you, then blame them when they don't/can't. That's not how healthy relationships work. She should be responsive to your emotional needs* but you need to use your words.

I should also add that while this is something partners do for one another, if this is occurring on a regular basis, you may need more help than your gf is qualified to provide, as in a therapist. Even someone who loves you can't be 100% responsible for your mental health, it'll exhaust you both.



* And I hope it goes without saying that you should be responsive to her emotional needs as well.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm neither expecting her to read my mind or for her to fix me but I can't help it that we are in the same room when I cry. That is why I haven't said anything. Because I don't know. And I have tried to figure out what helps and I can't so I don't say anything