[ SECRET POST #3448 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3448 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #493.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Super dark: my mother almost died about 12 years ago, and sometimes I think we'd all be less fucked up, as a family, if she had. She'd certainly be less unhappy. A lot of other people, too. Probably including me.

This is literally awful, and I know it. But you said "guilty secrets."

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I feel the same way about some of my relatives.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Is she still ill?

It's an understandable response either way, but a lot/i> of people who are dealing with an ailing relative, particularly one who's had a few close calls, have moments of "maybe they/we would be better off if they passed". It leaves you feeling awful, but it's not an entirely uncommon stress response.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

No, but she's drinking herself to death.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Ah. I thought this might be you, but I didn't want to ask and risk hurting you if I was wrong.

I'm sorry, anon. You're in a really difficult place, and you're doing the best you possibly can by someone who is ultimately unable or unwilling to help herself. Don't beat yourself up over the occasional morbid turn of thought.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I'm who you think I am (maybe the anon whose mother was in the hospital?). I've never posted here about my mother before.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so sorry anon, and wondered if that was you. It might not help, but I completely understand why you feel the way you do.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I'm who you think I am (maybe the anon whose mother was in the hospital?). I've never posted here about my mother before.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

My bad, I'm sorry! But I sympathize with your situation regardless. That can't be an easy thing to watch, and alcoholism has a way of destroying families, not just individuals.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT--er, I'm the anon who's mom was in the hospital, and wow, that's awful. I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Alcoholism really does a number on people--directly, and to their families. Good luck and don't feel guilty for your feelings, they help you cope.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Same here. This is the anon from months ago that asked for advice about attending the inevitable funeral for an emotionally abusive relative you feel nothing for. Relative is still alive and kicking, but their abuse has gotten worse and has told me to off myself on two occasions (family writes it off as "they're old and don't have a filter for what they say").

I've never believed family gets a free pass on anything just because they're family. It's not right to treat someone horribly and be able to get away with it because you're related to them. This is probably why I relate better with my friends than the people who brought me up.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[iceyred]

Dump 'em. If they want to be shitty, let 'em be shitty to someone else. Family absolutely gets no free passes.

When I was 20-21 my older (by almost ten years) brother called me fat and ugly. I was 5'6" and 115 lbs max. I haven't spoken to that fuckwit since. Being related to me is not an invitation to take your disappointment and grief out on me.

Re: Your guilty secrets

[(Anonymous)]

It's not awful. It's a reality most don't want to admit happens.

Not everyone who has issues gets help for them, much less gives a shit about what their issues do to their family.

If you want to know the truth, I feel this way too about my egg donor to some extent. (Of course, by the time the near-death happened, I was already fucked up, but maybe I could have healed earlier instead of being a crazy ugly sobbing fucking friendless shitty mess that couldn't stand on my own.)