[ SECRET POST #3448 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3448 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #493.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: OP update (more venting)

[(Anonymous)]

That's not good :(
*hugs* if you want them.

It sounds like you both need to find something that works better for you in this relationship, because the current method for dealing with stuff sounds like a bad fit.
Is your girlfriend the sort of person who'd feel better if you invited her to work with you to find a solution?
And/or (if finances allow) would she be okay with the idea of couples counselling? (Before it gets so bad that the relationship can't be salvaged.)

Do you have someone you can go to for advice/support/backup in meatspace who's not already in the middle of this? (Your mum seems to be on the outskirts of this, but she's not involving herself as far as I can tell? Is she someone you could talk to about it?)

An anon suggested I-statements earlier, too, that might be helpful. And maybe framing things as "these actions you've taken have upset me" rather than "you've upset me"? (Splitting the action from the person, so that you're explicitly not attacking them.)

Also, while you're clear about not wanting to pick sides, it might help if you remember there's more than two sides in this thing.
You have a "side" too. You're involved in this (whether you wanted to be or not), you have a personal stake (friendship/relationship/not having yelling around you), and it's worth keeping that in mind imo.

Hopefully a compromise can be reached that suits all of you. (But especially you in particular.)