case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-06-15 06:38 pm

[ SECRET POST #3451 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3451 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Sherlock Holmes]











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 20 secrets from Secret Submission Post #493.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: MRA Thread

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-06-15 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not saying it's useful per se...more like, when people make certain assumptions, they're not necessarily wrong or being assholes(and probably just operate on experience, like say:"8 out of 10 women I met did not like soccer, so chances are you won't either" or something like that).

Re: MRA Thread

(Anonymous) 2016-06-15 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
But you said it shouldn't affect how you treat individuals

How is that not letting it affect how you treat individuals
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: MRA Thread

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-06-15 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, that would depend on what you do with your assumptions?

Obviously, if you'd want to stop women from going to soccer games, you'd be an asshole.

But honestly we choose the kinds of conversations we start or don't start of a lot of criteria - ad yeah, gender can be one of them.
sarillia: (Default)

Re: MRA Thread

[personal profile] sarillia 2016-06-15 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know that relying on experience like that is something that should be encouraged. People have a habit of not noticing or forgetting about things that don't conform to their assumptions so that sort of experience isn't very reliable.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: MRA Thread

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-06-15 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not saying it should be encouraged per se - just that it's, understandable?

I think we make assumptions about people all the time. And out brains tr to find patterns.

Does this look like a person I'm safe around? Is this a person who could possibly share my interests with? Does this look like a person that goes to my school? Does this person look like a potential romantic partner? etc.

And yeah, for some questions gender is going to play a role, based on experiences and preferences.
sarillia: (Default)

Re: MRA Thread

[personal profile] sarillia 2016-06-16 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
It is understandable. Like you said, it's how our brains work. But then some thoughts like that are more understandable to me than others. Your "most girls I know don't like soccer" example feels weird to me. It just wouldn't occur to me to look at that. I don't think it's necessarily the gender thing that's throwing me off though. I don't know what it is. I just know that got a head tilt from me.

It could just be that those kinds of assumptions are something I actively try to avoid, and not like as a self-righteous stand against an oppressive society. I've been on the wrong side of it before, with people not bothering to invite me to something because they just assumed I wouldn't be interested, or that sort of thing. It's annoying.