fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3462 ]

[ SECRET POST #3462 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3462 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 45 secrets from Secret Submission Post #495.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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What should be my "Leaving present" for these arseholes?

Either nothing or something like cookies?

You don't want to burn bridges.

Compliments, emails, and a big thanks. Honestly, you never fucking know when you might need one of those "arseholes" as a reference. Don't screw yourself over.

Going to agree with this one. Or who they might be connected to if you remain in the industry. The world's really small when you don't want it to be.

Gonna have to fifth this, suck up and be the bigger person. As tempting it is to go "Fuck all of you, I'm GTFOing here", it ain't worth it.

This, man. Karma is real.

Something nice. I mean that sincerely, because burning bridges in this day and age is a very dangerous thing. I've heard so many stories about things making it back to someone's new employer and costing them their new job.

Assholes or not, be the better person and leave gracefully.

Fourthing: don't leave something douchey. I actually like the idea of leaving something nice and maybe even a little over-the-top (cookies and also donuts???), so maybe some of the people who were jerks to you will feel kinda bad about it. But seriously probably all you need to do is thank your supervisor(s) for the opportunity and leave graciously and be glad you're not there anymore. (Congrats on being able to leave; hopefully wherever you go next will be much better!)

Shit on all their desks? I mean, how much hate are we talking?

Be nice...be passive aggressive. "If it wasn't for Joan's inability to work Excel, I would never have learned so much about it when I had to help her everyday."

Just ghost.

Candy.

Leave in style.

Be the better person. It's what I did at my last job.

Be professional. Be polite. Get out as fast as you fucking can.

Ok, what you wanna do is:

Go in the bathroom

Take a big greasy shit

Wipe, but don't flush

Instead wipe your newly shit upon toilet paper on the underside of the hand dryer machine.

Repeat a couple of times to get a good layer going.

Finish up (but dry your hands on some clean toilet paper, not the machine)

Leave and never look back.

Slow down there, satan

Re: I'm leaving a job I hate

(Anonymous) - 2016-06-26 21:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I'm leaving a job I hate

(Anonymous) - 2016-06-26 22:37 (UTC) - Expand

I baked cookies. You never know who they know and depending on your industry, everyone talks.

My new boss worked for a firm that closely worked with my last firm and we knew a lot of the same people. Word gets around and that's why it's always good to be a friendly person and not burn bridges.

Your absence.

Take the high road, sis or bro. Seriously, just walk out with your head up and a smile and never look back. Every once in awhile, think how great it is that you no longer have to work there.

Doing any kind of fuck-you shit can really come back to bite you in the ass.

How much access do you have to the workplace unsupervised? Because a mackerel or a herring down the back of a radiator, or shoved behind a ceiling tile near some hotwater pipes, is the gift than can keep on giving for months.

Be really happy and nice, so their last memory of you is a happy person going on to better things :)

Take a huge shit on one of their desks.

Between the suggestions about sugary treats and how to make your former workplace stink to high heaven, I now declare that this thread has dissociative identity disorder.

On a more serious note, OP, just leave as gracefully as you can manage without encouraging lawsuits. If you have friends who are still stuck there, give the sugary treats to them, provided you don't look like you are playing favorites. ( Meet them after work if you can't give them food at work. )

Are you leaving because you won the lotto/your rich uncle Osmund died and left you his millions? No? Then just go. If you might need a favor from any of them someday, don't burn bridges.

Tape this picture around the office, especially above the urinals in the men's bathroom:

http://www.adweek.com/files/imagecache/node-blog/blogs/kraft-zesty-hed-2013.jpg

Rearrange the keys on a few choice keyboards so that the phrase "TOUCH PENIS" is clearly visible.

Get a Staples Red Button and play it over the intercom every five minutes.

In all seriousness though, just smile, say "Thanks for the lovely time" and leave. You never know when you'll need one of those people to have your back.

Edited 2016-06-27 07:31 (UTC)

Senna leaf cookies.

Just so you know, senna leaf is the most common active ingredient in a lot of laxatives.

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