fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3462 ]

[ SECRET POST #3462 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3462 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 45 secrets from Secret Submission Post #495.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A couple years ago I wasn't even attempting to try because I figured life wouldn't get better. I was at my peak--good program, not single, doing everything I was supposed to do--and my peak sucked, so I figured if actually wearing clothing that fit properly and fixing my hair were misplaced effort why bother? If nobody noticed when I did try, least of all me, why would I do anything different?

Poor self-esteem is a hell of a drug, and we live in a world that encourages it. The best way to help people who insist on looking like shit is not to tell them they do. They have to stop hating what they see in the mirror to actually try, and bullying is counterproductive.

Edited 2016-06-26 21:16 (UTC)

Well in your case, you aren't. You could look like Jessica Alba and you'd still be hideous because you're a shitty fucking troll on the inside.

Explain how society encourages poor self-esteem, please?

It doesn't. Society in fact encourages the opposite by making people feel special and victimized no matter how privileged they really are.

Oh man how doesn't it?

I mean, look at advertising-- whether it's selling you something you legitimately need (like toothpaste) or something nobody needs (like scented douches that will wreak havoc on your ph balance), ads are there to tell you that you are unsightly and disgusting without the product being hocked (true story: early toothpastes that billed themselves as a product to keep your teeth from falling out? Did not do well. Nobody cared. It was a fact of life and people didn't really get that the change in readily-available foods was making tooth decay a problem long before the age it used to be a problem at. One guy started marketing it as something that would make you socially acceptable instead of gross, yellowed, and smelly, and toothpaste started selling.)

And look at the models in ads-- shaving cream ads will never show a leg that isn't smooth and shapely. Tooth whitening commercials show women with sparkling white teeth fretting over how they can't go to their high school reunion like this. Even 'before' pictures often don't look like the average person on the street.

Look at the 'ugly' or 'fat' friends on TV and in movies, who STILL don't look 'ugly' or 'fat' in a lineup of people who aren't on TV. And look at the way that 'ugly'/'fat' characters are treated as punchlines.

Kids grow up internalizing a lot of that even if the people around them don't try to place a premium on appearance/weight, but good luck not hearing those messages from other human beings. Parents who put third graders on strict diets, or classmates who single out the 'ugly' kid for bullying.

You learn to judge your self-worth based on the way that you're treated, and you're treated poorly for being fat, for being the first kid in your class to get acne (or the kid to get hit with it the worst), or for failing to meet some other beauty standard, and then it's a vicious cycle, because so many people, instead of telling you 'you don't deserve to be treated like that' will say 'well if you diet/exercise and lose that weight, then those kids will like you', making it a personal failure on your part for not being liked.

Furthermore, fat is treated as a moral failing. You're seen as greedy, or lazy, or lacking in self-control. If you've got a big nose or an obvious mole, then you look more like a cartoon villain than you do like a 'good guy', because despite the lip service to 'beauty is only skin-deep', children in particular are presented with visuals that they learn from, and they are shown that ugly people are bad.

That, all of that? That's society. And it has a definite impact on the self-esteem not only of kids who are fat/'ugly', but those who are deemed more attractive. It becomes something you worry about holding onto, or it becomes something that overshadows the things you actually work at, or it attracts attention you don't want when you're the first girl in your grade to develop secondary sex characteristics while still being emotionally a child. And there's no cut-off point where a child outgrows being influenced by societal messages like that, where you look back and say 'oh, how silly, I see now that we were all victims of the media, now we can look back and laugh', it stays with you, and it stays with the people who reinforce those messages and that bullying.

Industry out to make a fast buck =/= society at large, moron.

I see you stopped after advertising and didn't make it down to personal interactions, but hey, there were a lot of words up there and that's hard, don't let it get you down fella.

I see you're a cunt. Please let it get you down.

I like you.

(Are you new? Don't think I've seen your name before)

You would. Don't you have a can of PBR you should be crying into?

I've literally never had PBR. I'm more insulted that you think I have such generic taste in beer than I am by your insinuation that I'm supposed to be upset about something (?).

I'm glad someone here does... though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised a discussion about body image would devolve into rampant trolling.

(I'm a long-time secret reader, but I rarely have anything to say in the comments)

I'm glad you spoke up about this, and you handle the trolls/jerks really well :)

You sound fat. And ugly. And acne-ridden.

Stop yelling at the mirror anon

Stop joking about suicide, shitbag.

....?

Chard has an active history of joking about suicidal people.

1. I have literally never seen her do this
2. your response is a complete non-sequitur

(where has she actually done that? is this as ridiculous and far-fetched as that claim that dethtoll drove someone to suicide?)

You forgot to tell me I sounded smelly.

Aside from that, you sound like a bunch of people I went to grade school with, so good for you.

You also sound like a cunt.

... says the person anonymously telling strangers on the internet how fat and ugly they sound.

Speaking the truth isn't being a cunt.

Being you? Is being a cunt.

Re: Because you figure you aren't worth it.

annethecatdetective - 2016-06-28 02:11 (UTC) - Expand

What rock do you live under because I'd really like to join you

Hopefully it's a big one that'll do the world a favor and crush you flat.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only