fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3465 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3465 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Spinal Tap (scene is from the movie 'This Is Spinal Tap’)]

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03.

[Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston]

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04.

(Gravity Falls, Pinecest)

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05.

[Spyro The Dragon (1st gen), Zinda Blake aka Lady Blackhawk, Ev Crawford aka Starling]

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06.

[Parks and Rec]

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07.

[Shadowhunters]

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08.

[Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress]

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09.

[Teen Wolf]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #495.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are spouses not family? They're romance and family at the same time, I thought that was the whole idea.

Usually people see a difference between siblings and spouses.

Yes... so do I. I was pointing out that assuming family = siblings by using Jaime Lannister is not accurate.

totally different anon

Wait, so a Game of Thrones reference automatically implies they're talking about dating your siblings? I thought it was just "ah" as in now she understands where you're coming from, and it had nothing to do with the picture itself.

Well... it's the Game of Thrones character that is romantic and sexually attracted to his sister, so I think the implication there is obvious.

ayrt

I...guess, I just didn't read that much into it at first, especially since no one specifically mentioned being romantically interested in your siblings at first (getting that from saying spouses=family is kind of reaching, IMO). When people post things like that my first thought tends to be that they just picked something because the text was what they wanted to say, regardless of the context of the image.

Maybe that's just me, though. *shrug*

getting that from saying spouses=family is kind of reaching, IMO

idk I thought that was the point the original anon who said "familyzoned" was making? like "this is beyond just being friends, you're acting like family/siblings".

ayrt

Hmm. Maybe so. I initially interpreted it differently, but I'm running on very little sleep so I'm having a hard time explaining it in a way that makes sense (even to myself).

Either way, I wasn't trying to argue or anything. I definitely get where you're coming from with the original post.

I'm agreeing with you!

And being kind of insulting and dismissive, but I suppose you are. Have a nice day, I guess? I've tried a few times to respond, but don't think you're really continuing this conversation in good faith. I don't know what issue you have with me.

Dude I have zero issue with you. But I can see you can't handle jokes right now so I'll stop. I hope you found some good info in here.

It's not about "handling jokes," it's just tough to tell who's just joking and who's not in a thread with people in it armchair diagnosing you with commitment issues for not having sex, assuming you're the bad guy in the relationship for not having sex, and outright declaring they don't understand you at all.

Fraysexual was an interesting term, at least. If not exactly accurate. And I don't consider the phenomenon I'm describing to be A Sexuality or anything.

Okay. Listen: you left out some critical information for starters. If you'd simply mentioned that you were asexual in the first post we'd realize that you weren't asking why you didn't want to have sex with these people. Your initial posts looked like you wanted to and couldn't figure out why it wasn't working.

Also:

assuming you're the bad guy in the relationship for not having sex

I have not seen a single person imply this.

Edited 2016-06-30 01:42 (UTC)

Yes? That's why I said in the post that I should have said that up front. I wasn't expecting everyone to jump on it and act like I was awful. It didn't seem to help much anyway, since people are still insisting I'm just friends with everyone. :\

Is having commitment issues, or being the person dating someone they've "shoved into the friendzone" not being the bad guy in the relationship?

No, they aren't being the bad guy. They're common relationship issues that many of us have and would make sense to bring up.

Dude: you can't ask for anonymous relationship advice on a message board of all places and expect nothing but question-free hugs. Everyone seems to have been sympathetic.

Well, I wasn't expecting hugs OR relationship advice. I was asking about a description for a phenomenon and got unasked-for advice and questions about my relationship that everyone assumed was broken instead. That was the part that confused me. Where did I ask for relationship advice?

I was surprised people even assumed I was in a relationship since the original post didn't mention one at all!

And sympathetic to... what? Literally the only reply on topic answering about the question itself was the person mentioning fraysexual was an idea.

I'm not asking for advice or sympathy, I don't have any issue with myself or my partner or my relationship, everything is basically fine, I was just asking for a word.

SA

Oh, "don't think I've heard of that" anon was on topic too. Just so I don't leave them out, haha.

We aren't your personal dictionary or research service. When you engage other human beings with questions, they might have questions for you! This is how conversations work.

If you're just seeking definitions and not conversations, a message board is a bad place to look.

Edited 2016-06-30 02:22 (UTC)

Sure, we can agree on that. If we can agree that unwanted and unasked for relationship advice is also pretty annoying, we're agreed on the rest of it also. The answers surprised me not because they were answers but because of what they contained, and it was difficult to tell what was a joke and what wasn't because of threads like the above where I get asked if I make out.

Is that a good summary?

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Okay, let me rephrase this.

Re: Okay, let me rephrase this.