[ SECRET POST #3473 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3473 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #496.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: My parents have racist friends and it really bothers me

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh I'm sorry. I don't really have any advice.
What's getting me is that THEY are bringing this shit up. I agree with people upthread that in situations like these, just live and let live is probably best. Changing your parents is hard, let alone their friends. But if Jane and Bob are bringing up politics aware that they're provoking you? I think you'd be justified in just refusing to associate with these people. That kind of behaviour is something I'd expect my parents to call out their friends on.
But that's my parents, who mostly share my sense of humour and boundaries. I don't know how yours would react :/

Re: My parents have racist friends and it really bothers me

[(Anonymous)]

op

Thank you. I try not to spend time with them if I can help it.

The thing I keep going back to is if I found out a friend of mine was racist, I would feel like by continuing to be friends with them, I was condoing their behavior. No one is forced to be friends with anyone else, so if someone thinks something that you truly find objectionable or wrong, nothing is stopping you from not hanging out with them. But if you continue to be friends with someone like that, it must be because you don't find anything wrong with their beliefs, and THAT is what I have an issue with. Obviously my parents are okay with their friends' racism and that upsets me.

Not to mention the fact that Bob said my mom told him I was a disappointment. How can you be okay with a friend telling your kid that, especially if you didn't even really say it?

Re: My parents have racist friends and it really bothers me

[diet_poison]

I am at times able to be friends with people who I seriously disagree with in some ways but I keep a distance if they have views that are really objectionable, unless I think I can engage them about those views. I try to lead by an example, be tolerant and loving, etc. but people who are very vocal about being bigots make me angry, and that's a bad recipe for friendship.

I don't actually agree that being friends with someone means you condone everything they believe, but I DO think tolerating their bigotry when it's actually coming out of their mouths is tacit support in a way.