Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2016-07-07 06:45 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2016-07-07 06:45 pm
[ SECRET POST #3473 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3473 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
__________________________________________________
02.
__________________________________________________
03.
__________________________________________________
04.
__________________________________________________
05.
__________________________________________________
06.
__________________________________________________
07.
__________________________________________________
08.
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #496.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Controversial Opinion thread
(Anonymous) 2016-07-08 03:06 am (UTC)(link)But to be honest, condemning a parent for leaving a baby in a hot car, or looking away for a second while a toddler gets snatched by an animal... I think those are the types of things that are easy to condemn until it happens to you.
Honestly, I think the leaving the baby in the car is actually far more egregious than the other example, because it's the parent directly causing the harm to the child, rather than being negligent and something happening from forces outside their control.
I'm not saying accidents or freak things don't happen or that the parents should always take the blame if they do, but I don't think leaving a baby in a car is one of those situations. That goes back to the "kids need constant supervision" thing. Just like you CAN'T look away for "just one second" you don't have the luxury of just "forgetting" that your kid is in the car with you if you have kids.
If you're not ready to put 100% of your focus and attention on your kids and essentially give up on the notion of "free time" or a life of your own until they're old enough to not require your constant supervision, then you shouldn't have them. I'm not willing to do those things, which is why I'm not going to have them.
Re: Controversial Opinion thread
That's not realistic though. At a bare minimum, parents need to be able to work, cook, and otherwise take care of the household, all of which involve spending time not paying attention to the the kid. Additionally, parents who completely sublimate their senses of self usually don't make very good parents, for a number of reasons: they neglect their marriages, which makes them more likely to divorce; they become mentally and emotionally unhealthy; and they give their children the impression that the world revolves around them. Kids who notice that their parents don't have lives or interests outside of them have a tendency to be very self-involved, and really, why wouldn't they be?
This is all further complicated by the fact that kids need to be taught how to be responsible and to take care of themselves, and that process begins very early. That doesn't mean letting your kids run wild, but it does mean providing them with controlled opportunities to be "away" from you.
Re: Controversial Opinion thread
(Anonymous) 2016-07-08 04:11 am (UTC)(link)You make good points, and I should've worded things differently. I was thinking mostly when you're out in public, and when the parent in question is the only one taking care of the kids at that time. In your own home, you've had the opportunity to make things as safe as you can, and I don't feel like you need to have eyes on your kids every second.
And of course parents need their own lives and interests, there's nothing wrong with leaving the kids with your partner/spouse if you have one, or a trusted babysitter, and going out with friends to get away from time to time. And you're right that kids need time away from their parents to develop and grow.
But while you're the sole caregiver for the kid(s) and you're in some public place, you can't just say "oh, they're driving me nuts, I need a break" and go on Facebook on your phone and not pay attention to them and then when one gets kidnapped say "OMG I only looked away for a second, how could this have happened?!"
Re: Controversial Opinion thread