[ SECRET POST #3479 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3479 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Lifetime's UnReal]


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03.
[X-Men movies. Charles/Erik]


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04.
[Andrew Zimmern vs. Anthony Bourdain]


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05.
[Secretary]


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06.
[Stardew Valley]


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07.
[Notre Dame de Paris (French Musical)]


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08.
[Erma]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #497.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[ypsilon42]

I am not ayrt and I don't really have a serious problem with people who liked the movie, but I had some problems with it too.

For one thing I really disliked how their relationship started. They didn't really communicate at all and just kind of slid into their roles. And while communication is important for every relationship, it is absolutly necessary for a healthy BDSM relationship. In the movie itself, everything turned out okay, because they both wanted what the other person did, but it could have ended badly just as well. That thought about how they didn't establish at all what the other person wanted out of this and basically were doing what they were doing without knowing that they had consent, really squicked me personally and I can totally see people having more extreme reactions to that.

Also, I think I disliked how to me it seemed that she overcame her entire mental health problems by finding a dom. Because that's not really how it works...

Those are the things I remember at least, but it has been a couple of years since I saw the movie so take this with a grain of salt.

[(Anonymous)]

I know where you're coming from, but I gotta say, I don't think healthy relationships make the most interesting story material. I thought their miscommunication and noncommunication was central to the conflict.

[a_potato]

Hey, anon, I'm glad you made this comment. When I'm in a critical mindset, I often forget this point, despite the fact that I unabashedly ship fucked-up pairings. So...yeah!

[ypsilon42]

I think you are right about the non-communication being central to the conflict and that it was one of the flaws they overcame, but I was still squicked by the relationship up until that point at the end where they overcame that, and by that point it kinda made me dislike the characters, so...

There is no judgement here, because there are definitly unhealthy relationship dynamics that I like, but this particular case is just really squicky for me personally.

[a_potato]

Yeah, I mean... There are things to recommend this movie: they're both into it; he genuinely cares for her (which is why he tries to put a stop to what's going on, because he recognizes that they've gone about it in the wrong way); and, at the most basic level, they're two people with issues who find release, healing, and acceptance with one another.

But.

As you say, there are still some serious problems with it, not least of which the fact that it's yet another piece that presents BDSM as a salve for mental illness.

I enjoy it, but it's certainly not a healthy depiction of this type of relationship.

[(Anonymous)]

I haven't seen it butI see it recommended semi regularly as a healthy alternative to 50 Shades, so I can see why people would be squicked if they went into it with that expectation and then found it to be not as healthy as people act like it is.

Also as a mentally ill person I haaaaaate "mental illness can be solved by a relationship" tropes, whether its BDSM related or not.

[(Anonymous)]

+1 to all of this, but especially the last line.

I'm also mentally ill, and I hate those tropes too.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I understand this viewpoint, and I think if it were a slightly different movie I would be squicked as well.
The reason it works for me is because so much about it is clearly semi fantastical - his office is visibly a BDSM playroom!