fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3487 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3487 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Posting in 2nd comment just in case?

I had an altercation with a member of the public this morning. Just some soccer mom trying to pull one over on a coworker, but when it didn't go her way she started screaming at him and I had to step in and handle things.

The thing is, I was really angry. I'm not prone to rage, but she was getting right up in both of our faces and outright screaming lies to us. But worse than what she was doing to me was the fact that her target had been my coworker who I felt in that moment very protective over? I managed to get things diffused enough for security to remove her, but for much of the confrontation I really felt like I was one wrong move on her end from snapping and hurting her. Like very clear and vivid thoughts like "if she grabs me I'll smash her into the counter."

Right after the fact I thought I've never felt mad like that before, but thinking on it more I can think of lots of times where I felt a few seconds from throwing down with someone who 'threatened' me or people I felt protective of. In fact, it's often sort of low key there, though I haven't fought since I was a teenager.

My question is, is this sort of temporary rage/violence feeling normal? I was raised in a very violent environment, both at home and at school, and now I work in a very hard/rough industry, and it's hard for me to know if these sorts of feelings are a result of my own skewed perceptions.

I feel this way a lot too, tbh. I think it's mostly a personality thing, but definitely upbringing could influence that too.

I'm not a psychologist, but I suspect that visualizing a very precise image/idea of exactly what act of violence you are going to commit is a fight-or-flight survival mechanism, and I'm sure that can easily become over-developed if you were raised in a violent environment, since hyper-vigilance (and the resulting long-term symptoms of distractability, inattention, overreaction, etc) has been proven to be caused by stressful home environments in children.

Thank you for the response. :)

I'm a very calm person over all, even with things that frustrate most people. That's why this bothered me so much.

I don't know much about the long-term effects of childhood environment. I thought that might be a big thing though, since I know a lot of my views and assumptions can be weird compared to people from mainstream environments. I think you've given me something to research!

To be fair, getting physically up in someone's face is invading their space and creating a physical threat, no matter how big or small they are in comparison. A vicious, small animal can bite you just like a big one can.

Has it happened when someone has been yelling at you from a distance?

This was my first thought, but I knew she was no threat even in the moment.

It hasn't happened in distance confrontations, outside of in certain circumstances when I was afraid it could lead to me getting jumped.

I don't know about that. You might know your friend isn't going to hit you with the baseball bat to the face, but if they swung one at you even if they warned you beforehand, most people would flinch. It's a physical reaction to things getting close.

If it never happens when people aren't in your face, it's probably some unconscious part deciding they're a threat even if you know they aren't consciously.

Sounds like fight or flight. I think anyone shrieking at you for no goddamn reason will trigger that kind of thing. It's abusive.

Thank you. You might be right.

[ SECRET POST #3487 ]

Question about anger/fights

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)

Re: Question about anger/fights (TW: thoughts of violence against a woman)