case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-08-02 06:28 pm

[ SECRET POST #3499 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3499 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #500.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Romantic things for men

(Anonymous) 2016-08-03 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
I'm bad at expressing emotions myself so I know that can be annoying to deal with. Half the time it doesn't occur to me to since I figure they know already and it's an established fact and I'm horrible at remembering birthdays and anniversaries or anything like that. And feelings are awkward.

Reading up above in the thread, if you're worried he hasn't gotten you a gift, you can always think of your gesture as something that was true whether or not you said it again, and this is just something you wanted to say or let him know. I find what works with me and makes it much easier to talk about feelings is if the other person says something first then asks if I feel the same or the feeling is there, whether or not I'm saying it out loud, and I can agree.

Hope it goes well.

Re: Romantic things for men

(Anonymous) 2016-08-03 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for this advice! It's good to hear it from the other person's perspective - as someone who grew up reading loads of books and writing lots and is very articulate and verbally expressive and could write reams of love poetry about someone I'm attracted to if I wanted, I do get frustrated when my boyfriend can't manage to articulate to the same depths as me. I know he tries, and that technique of mirroring compliments might help him :)

Re: Romantic things for men

(Anonymous) 2016-08-03 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
da

The author Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages - and yeah, the title's absolutely cringe-making - but all the same he made some excellent points about how people have differing ways of expressing love. Learning how the other person likes to give/receive affection can help dispel a lot of the frustration most of us feel when they don't speak the same "language" we do.

Here's a nice succinct summary from Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages